For those of you who know my husband, he is a very private guy. He never talks about his feelings, his private life or especially the crazy things that have happened to him. But this is my blog, and I can talk about it all I want;). So, I am going to.
He has had some pretty outrageous things happen to him. So much so, that I can still think back to when it happened and I can laugh uncontrollably. You see, these things could only happen to a man who pretty much keeps to himself and does not bother many people (well, besides me)and I just feel the need to share them!
When I was living in Atlanta, Larry was still living in Pittsburgh. We had a cute little apartment, with a balcony (that becomes important later). When you look out our balcony, it was all trees and bushes that sloped down to a huge hill. It was so steep, you could not see the bottom of the hill. There were picker bushes, wild rose bushes, trees, branches, and poison ivy. It was a mess of vegetation!
One day, Larry was coming home from work. He owned a pick-up truck. We had just bought a beautiful red Dodge Avenger, and the before mentioned 89 Ford Tempo..He kept the 2 cars behind the apartment building parked safely away. Anyway, as he was pulling into the apartment building, he sees this figure go running by. He take a second look and sure enough, it is a young man probably late teens, early twenties. He is buck naked and he is jumping on the hoods of people's cars and smashing his head into the windshield! I kid you not! Can you imagine? Anyway, this kid is going crazy, naked as a jay bird, head completely bloody from smashing his head into windshields. The boy begins to make his way around back where are two other vehicles are parked. Well that was not going to fly with Larry. He follows the kid around back. By then, there was a crowd gathering and someone had called 911. The police show up as the boy was beginning to do his head smashing routine on the cars back behind the building. The kid sees the police and dives head first down the steep hill of vegetation! Larry stood there in amazement! This kid was now sliding down a hill, buck naked, through picker bushes, poison ivy and who knows what else. Larry could hear him yelling... Ouch, ohhh, ouch,as he is heading down the hill! Well,the police had to go after him. They caught him and pulled his naked ass back up in hand cuffs!
Larry had to talk to the police to let them know what he had seen. Apparently, the kid was on some crazy drugs! If I would have been there, I would have been useless because I would have been laughing so hard! Not Larry! He was to busy protecting our cars from the "naked windshield smasher!"
Now also around this same time, we were packing up to move to Cincinnati. Again, I was still in Atlanta, and Larry had taken a trip to Cincinnati to finish up odds and ends with his new job and the move. All of our belongings were packed up. I believe he was moving the following weekend. Anyway, when he got home our front door was unlocked! Larry knew this was odd because we never go anywhere without locking the apartment. He thought he must had made a mistake and not locked it. So that night he is sound asleep. He is awakened by the door being opened and the chain catching on the door. He bolted out of bed and the person had slammed the door shut. Who ever it was, was not expecting the chain to be on. Larry was instantly freaked out at the idea of someone trying to break into our apartment. So, the next few nights are uneventful..he had moved a bunch of our furniture by the door to see if the intruder was coming back for our stuff. Well a couple nights later, Larry hears the door open ever so gently waiting to see if the chain is on or if he can access the apartment. Well of course the chains are on. Larry bolts out of bed with his gun this time! The intruder hears Larry and bolts again. Now, for the remainder of the time he is there, Larry pushes all the heavy furniture up close to the door and puts every butter knife we have in the door! The intruder never comes back. We figure that it was the janitor because whom ever it was had keys to the apartment. They also knew we were moving and probably were going to clean us out! Till this day, Larry has a gun next to the bed (in a case, locked, and not loaded) that was one freaky, messed up situation. And to go though that by yourself,was pretty traumatic!
The story that really cracks me up every time I think of it, is a story about Kade. See, Kade was Larry's first experience with baby's. He had never changed a diaper before our son was born. This was a whole new world to him, but he did get pretty good at it! Anyway, one day I had changed a pretty nasty diaper of Kade's. Larry had gotten home from work and decided to take out the garbage. The whole time he is trying to get the bag out of the garbage can, he is gagging. He is saying "Oh, it stinks" as he proceeds to gag. He did this many times. Well, all of a sudden I see Larry running through the house holding his mouth. I kid you not, when I say, he was running to the bathroom. But sadly for him, he did not make it, and he proceeded to projectile vomit all over the wall in our bedroom. All I could do was laugh. Really? over a dirty diaper? He learned quickly that he better get a stomach of steel...because there was definitely more where that came from!
One more good story for you. Larry has this thing about the closet doors being shut at night. I don't know if he had fears when he was younger, but he gets all worked up if the door is not shut. So anyway, one night I had gone to bed after him. He was asleep when I went in. I proceeded to get all comfortable and all of a sudden, Larry shoots up in bed and is looking at our closet. He points to it and says "shshshsh...shut the shshsh...shirt door" and I said "what?" He starts over "shshsh...shut the shshsh...shirt door" (by then I am laughing so hard) and he is so serious. He is still pointing to the door, and then he said "I cant spit it out! I cant say it" now, I am about to pee my pants because I was laughing so hard. He is trying to tell me to Shut the Shirt Door! Now, we have NEVER called it that. He was so upset because he could not spit it out. I said "Larry, the door is shut". He looked at me, and said "okay" and went back to sleep! I actually had to get out of bed and go in the bathroom and laugh. He was so serious and so upset to think the closet door was open!
As you can see, we have had some pretty funny times. Crazy, unbelievable, and hilarious times! Some a little scary, some very outrageous...so if you see Larry, remind him of these things and ask him about them. And maybe he will open up a little, and not take things so serious!
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