About 3 months ago, I had parent teacher conferences at my son's school. It happened to be the night the new Zumba class was going on. I peaked inside and was amazed at two things: the amazing energy and ability of the instructor, and how the class was one sweaty mess but yet they were totally enjoying themselves. As I watched in the window, the instructors Mom happened to be outside. I asked her where her daughter got the energy. She said "She had no idea, but she loves doing it." As I waited for my conference to begin, I just stood and watched. My first thought was that I am NEVER going to do this. It is wild, crazy, and it looked hard. One of my friends kept turning around while she was exercising and we would laugh. I thought she was crazy for even being in there. Even after class was over, I teased her about it for a long time. I could not understand why someone wanted to do something like this.
I decided to sign up for a yoga class. This was more my speed. So on Monday nights, I would adorn my yoga pants and head to the gym. Well, after yoga a Zumba class was starting. There were a TON of people filing into the gym all dying to get inside for the class. It amazed me how this one, tiny girl, who was the instructor, affected so many lives. As I was leaving, one of my friends said to me "You staying?" I laughed..."Umm, no."
I started talking to the instructor, Kristy, about the class. She was opening her own fitness center in our little hometown. I noticed people who were more fit and less fit than me, filling up her classes. So, why could I not do it? Kristy motivated me to try. This is something completely out of my comfort zone. While I took dance lessons until high school, this type of "dance" was something I had never even seen before. I facebooked Kristy and told her I was starting Monday.
My other friend, Kristie, also was motivated to join. We both started walking and we changed our diet. At the first class, I could not believe how full it was. It was unreal. She had motivated all these people to put fitness in their lives. I was so nervous, but I have to tell you...I was so much fun! I left a sweaty mess and I hurt the next day, but man, I felt great!
My friend Kristie and I have decided to start boot-camp. This is something very challenging but very rewarding. KC Fitness offers the class once a month for 2 times a week for 4 weeks. It is intense, it is hard, it is overwhelming, but it is a goal I have set for myself. I also want to tell you that last night I had set a goal for myself too. KC Fitness was offering a TRIPLE class event. 1/2 hour of abs, 1 hour of Body Pump, and 1 hour of Zumba/Cardio Jam. Guess what? I DID IT! Many times I wanted to give up, and many times I made up my own moves, but gosh darn it....I DID IT!!!
We live in a very small community and I am amazed at what Kristy and KC Fitness has done for our community. She is an idol to many, including me. She is a mom, has a job for the township, and runs KC Fitness. Many people from all area's around here have joined her in getting fit. It is amazing what one person can do for a community.
As I sit here, aching from head to toe, I am so proud of myself. I am eating right and I am exercising. I have committed myself to get into the best shape of my life. Who said a mom of 4 had to be frumpy? Not this girl! I hope you all share this journey with me, and maybe commit to fitness in your life! Come check out KC Fitness and I promise you, you will NEVER look back!
Inspired by one to make a life change,
Shelby
Friday, May 18, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Am I Mom Enough?
Yes, I am Mom Enough, to breastfeed the first year of life. Yes, I am Mom Enough, to be a Stay at Home Mom of 4. Yes, I am Mom Enough, to balance my kids social life, academic life and extra curricular activities...but am I Mom Enough to breastfeed my preschool aged child? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
My first born, Kade, was not breastfed. I was living in Ohio and no one in my family had ever nursed a baby. I remember talking to my grandmother who lived in Michigan. She would continuously ask me if I was going to nurse this new baby. As a first time parent, I had no idea what to expect or what the right thing to do was. My husband did not care either way. So, it was up to me. I literally had no support, no one to give me information, no one to cheer me on. So, I listened to all the uninformed people in my life and I did not breastfeed Kade.
This is by far my biggest regret in life. Why? Because I feel guilty. I feel like I had the tools to give him the "absolute best start" at life, and I dropped the ball. I remember being so miserable with Kade. He cried all the time. We had to switch formula's to many times to count because he was screaming all the time. I listened to family members that said..."Put him on Soy" and "Try the gentle formula." We did all of these and non of it mattered. He would projectile vomit across the room and he would scream for hours. I would sit up at night and cry because I could not find the formula to settle his tummy. I was sleep deprived and miserable. It was not until my friend, Lynde, gave me some samples of Similac that my beautiful baby emerged. Just plain ol Similac. Non of the fancy stuff...Just Similac!
The guilt I have is: I had the tools that would of prevented all of this. I had the tools to start Kade's life without any tummy problems, but I have to remember that I was uniformed, young, and easily swayed by members of my family.
Now this is the funny thing. My second son, Blake, was born 10 weeks early. My water just broke in the middle of the night. Larry and I rushed to Petoskey but my labor could not be stopped. Right after he was born, my sister, who is very uniformed and against breastfeeding, said to me "Your going to breastfeed him, right?" Well, I had already made the decision to breastfeed. I could of cared less what they said, but I found my sisters statement interesting. Why was Kade not "valuable enough?" Why did it matter that Blake was premature and because of that, he gets "the best possible start?" I have never been able to figure this out. All of a sudden I had a group of people wanting me to nurse and supporting me like never before. How unfair was this? Just because Blake was "sick" he deserved to be nursed...but my healthy boy, Kade, only deserved formula.
I learned a valuable lesson that day: Always follow your instincts when parenting, and never let anyone sway you. I taught myself the ins and outs of nursing. I bought a book and I asked for help. I was now a nursing mother and I loved every second of it. It was hard at first. It was hard for my family to watch. They were so uncomfortable, but I did not care. I pumped for Blake until I couldn't pump anymore. For 6 weeks in the NICU, I worked hard at "nursing" him back to health, and that was exactly what happened. He came home 4 weeks before his due date, and when he was home I continued to nurse him around the clock.
I remember sitting at my mom's house and she was so uncomfortable. She hated every minute I nursed. She would pull the blanket up just so nothing would show. I could clear a room like never before. My cousin was so uncomfortable she laughed and left all together. Why was this so wrong? Why could non of them handle it? And why did they say that they would of done the same thing...IF they had a preemie? I guess full term baby's do not deserve the same. I guess they are "healthy" enough for formula, while my Blake was to frail for it. Makes me sick to think about it.
I nursed Blake his entire first year of life. I pumped and nursed and pumped and nursed. I pumped and nursed till I had nothing left to pump or nurse. It was by far the greatest accomplishment of my life; nursing a baby to complete health. He was so healthy which was astonishing from how his life began. During this whole process, I grew to love nursing. The bond I felt with Blake was unreal. If someone thinks this bond is not important, just tell that to a nursing mom. It is something I can't describe. Not only was the bond incredible, but my nights were so much easier. I could just put Blake in bed with me, nurse and fall asleep. I would then wake up and nurse him on the other side, and then fall asleep. I then would put him in his crib. I was NOT sleep deprived. I was much happier and my baby was very content.
When I got pregnant with Colt, I knew I would nurse. I threw all my bottles away. I even threw my pump away. My passion for nursing became stronger. I have a friend, Katrina, who inspired me to not give up. When I had any questions I would call her. One time, Colt quit nursing altogether. I went over to her house and she went right to work getting him latched on. Without her support, I wonder if I would of made it. It is so important to have a support system. Even though, non of these members were in my family, I had Trina and I appreciated all she ever did for me.
Kloe came next and my baby girl never had a bottle to her mouth. I am the most proud of this. I nursed her till she was 14 months old. She loved it and I loved it. We were so close. My dear friend, Danielle, also commented on she could visibly see the bond between us.
This blog post originally started in response to the time magazine headline about being "Mom Enough" but as you can see, I have digressed into the importance the first year of nursing was to me. I understand it is not for everyone, and while I am "Mom Enough" to nurse for the first year, that is where it ends for me. Why this mother chose to put her son's face on a magazine is beyond me, but I am so glad she did what she wanted to do, and was not swayed to NOT nurse...like I was so many years ago.
It is amazing to me, how people are so concerned with the choices of others, and myself included. Last week my baby sister had a baby. It nearly killed me that she was bottle feeding. I mentioned twice to her that I could help her, but Savannah is her baby and she will grow and develop to be a healthy, beautiful little girl. I will not push, and I will not try to sway her. What works for one family, does not work for all families. And that is o.k. I am excited to watch Savannah grow. I am excited to be her Aunt.
I would also like to say, while many of my family members are so uncomfortable with me nursing; I really don't care. They are uncomfortable because they are uninformed. They have no right to judge something they have never even tried. So, as I think about that, I think about this Time Cover. I judged this mother at first. I thought she was out of line...but as I have been writing this blog, I realized I am doing just what my family members did to me. So, am I "Mom Enough" to nurse a preschooler, no...but I am sure "Mom Enough" to do what I think is best? Absolutely! And I am also "Mom Enough" to say I don't care what you think, this is my baby! Do what YOU want with yours and leave my decisions.....ALONE!
"Mom Enough" in Pickford,
Shelby
Friday, May 11, 2012
There is only ONE of me....
Oh my goodness! You ever feel like you are being pulled so thin that you are going in 15 directions? There are days where I don't know where I start or where my kids end. My days start and end the same. Mornings are so hectic with getting 2 of my boys off to school. Then there are Kloe's needs and the dogs. Getting kids dressed and fed...man, by 10:30 I am spent and I still have about 10 hours left to my day.
I don't know how many times I have said "There is only one of me...and 5 of you." Who takes care of Mom? Who cares about my needs? The answer is no one! I am solely responsible for everyone's needs, including my own. I am the caregiver, the cook, the cleaner, the organizer (ok, I am not very good at this but I am trying), the scheduler, the chauffeur, the bath giver, the grocery shopper...and the list goes on and on. You all have seen these lists before. Oh, I know, I chose to be a Stay at Home Mom, but when does the madness stop?
Just today, we all had dentist appointments. I realized as I was sitting there, after one of the hygentists had to go into waiting room and clean up the mints that my 18 month old dug out of my purse and spread across the entire floor, and then proceeded to eat them...that I am also solely responsible for their dental hygiene. At what point do these little humans take over? At what point do you let them go and spread their wings? When do I stop and they begin? I am having a hard time figuring this one out.
I know they are young yet, and I don't plan on shoving them out the door tomorrow, but if I don't give them some more responsibility, then they will never be able to take care of themselves. My
fear is my boys will grow up and their wives will be talking amongst themselves, saying "They are such Momma's boys. She did everything for them and they expect me to do the same." I am working on it...I promise. It just seems easier for me to do it myself, but doing it myself is not parenting, and my goal is to be the ultimate parent to my children.
I think what I need to do is relax. I need to enjoy my children while they are little. I don't think it really matters that they left all their blankets on the living room floor, or that they didn't shut the bathroom door or flush the toilet and Kloe stuck her hand in it... ok, that one matters! But, in the long run, what I want is to raise responsible, happy, loving, caring adults, and I think it all starts with a little bit of letting go. I think I need to delegate more and care less about things being perfect. I need to make sure "Mommy" has time so I can enjoy everyday, all day with my children.
So, for the days I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and just plain frustrated...I need to remember that these days do not last forever, and that some day I am going to miss this crazy life. It is hard to believe my first born is almost 10...They are little for such a short time. But for now, I am going to give them the tools they need to spread their wings and fly...because my future Daughter- in- Laws will really appreciate it:)
I don't know how many times I have said "There is only one of me...and 5 of you." Who takes care of Mom? Who cares about my needs? The answer is no one! I am solely responsible for everyone's needs, including my own. I am the caregiver, the cook, the cleaner, the organizer (ok, I am not very good at this but I am trying), the scheduler, the chauffeur, the bath giver, the grocery shopper...and the list goes on and on. You all have seen these lists before. Oh, I know, I chose to be a Stay at Home Mom, but when does the madness stop?
Just today, we all had dentist appointments. I realized as I was sitting there, after one of the hygentists had to go into waiting room and clean up the mints that my 18 month old dug out of my purse and spread across the entire floor, and then proceeded to eat them...that I am also solely responsible for their dental hygiene. At what point do these little humans take over? At what point do you let them go and spread their wings? When do I stop and they begin? I am having a hard time figuring this one out.
I know they are young yet, and I don't plan on shoving them out the door tomorrow, but if I don't give them some more responsibility, then they will never be able to take care of themselves. My
fear is my boys will grow up and their wives will be talking amongst themselves, saying "They are such Momma's boys. She did everything for them and they expect me to do the same." I am working on it...I promise. It just seems easier for me to do it myself, but doing it myself is not parenting, and my goal is to be the ultimate parent to my children.
I think what I need to do is relax. I need to enjoy my children while they are little. I don't think it really matters that they left all their blankets on the living room floor, or that they didn't shut the bathroom door or flush the toilet and Kloe stuck her hand in it... ok, that one matters! But, in the long run, what I want is to raise responsible, happy, loving, caring adults, and I think it all starts with a little bit of letting go. I think I need to delegate more and care less about things being perfect. I need to make sure "Mommy" has time so I can enjoy everyday, all day with my children.
So, for the days I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and just plain frustrated...I need to remember that these days do not last forever, and that some day I am going to miss this crazy life. It is hard to believe my first born is almost 10...They are little for such a short time. But for now, I am going to give them the tools they need to spread their wings and fly...because my future Daughter- in- Laws will really appreciate it:)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Getting Rid of Old Baggage
So, I have been thinking...Can you truly cut someone out of your life? Can you really act like you have never met a person before? Can you erase your history, like it never happened?
See, I have been cut out of people's lives, and I have cut people out. But, it just does not seem beneficial to me. Is it not easier to confront the situation? Is it not healthier to tell the person they hurt you? It seems to me, that ignoring them, cutting them out, acting like they never cared about you...is the easy way out.
My family has a history of just "ignoring" the person their mad at. Completely, totally, 100 % ignore them ...I think this act is childish and immature. Ignoring someone does not solve the problem, all it does it add resentment. I have a relative who is mad at me for posting on fb about my mothers dress. Well, to be honest, I have about 5 relatives mad. But they are mad because I posted the truth. I posted about wanting my mom's dress back...But I never said anyone's name...So, now I have a whole slew of family members ignoring me. I wonder if the "shoe was on the other foot" how they would feel? I wonder if their mother's heirlooms where thoughtlessly given away, if they would just "let it go?" I am assuming not!
So much has happened. Mean, hateful things. One person pushed my mom down the stairs of my grandmothers house. This same person continued to call my mom a F****** B****. Now, my mom is not innocent in this either. She did go to my grandmothers house and take some things that were hers, but in doing so, she was pushed down stairs, called names and had the police called on her TWICE! This behavior is uncalled for. This behavior is not something I want in my life. But how about we talk about it? How about we put it behind us by being adults? At one point we loved each other, and at one point we called each other family.
One day last week, I walked into my grandmothers hospital room. Sitting in a chair is one of these family members. The air was "ICE". The room was stiff with hatred, and it was very uncomfortable. I tried talking to Nana, but when this person is around, nobody else exists. I had Colt and Kloe with me and they were even ignored. How can you ignore innocent children? What did they ever do to you? I feel so strongly that this behavior only proves one point: That they are the ones with the problem. Not me!
I think kindness is a great way to really throw these immature people for a loop. I mean, come on...I think that giving the a good smile, really shows the who is the mature one. I would love to drop a plate of cookies off to this person. I would love to leave them at her door and just walk away. What would she think when she opened the door? Would she guess they are from the person she is currently ignoring? Every single time I see these people, I am going to spread happiness because maybe someday, they will learn that it is easier to love than hate.
I think this behavior adds so much anxiety and un-needed stress. I often wonder about how much hatred is inside of these family members? How everyday they walk around with this on their shoulders. I personally, do not want to live that way. I enjoy being happy. I enjoy finding things to be happy about. I enjoy making people happy, and I enjoy a good laugh. If I had so much hatred in me, I could not do these things. I would think that letting it go, would be the way to happiness. I would think that they would want to be happy...but then again, I am not them. I can't think that way, because I have chosen not to live my life with that baggage.
For me, the "baggage" is not a person. To me the "baggage" is the ignorance spread by these people. I will continue to teach my children that this type of behavior is no way to live. I will teach them to talk about what is bothering them and teach them the importance of working your problems out. Nothing ever gets solved by acting like the person does not exist. I hope my children know this.
So, to those family members: I hope you can find happiness somewhere. I hope you don't continue to cut people out, because someday, you may need them. Misery is a lonely place to be, and I hope someday you open your heart because you will be so much better off!
Now, I think I will go bake some cookies...
Till Next Time,
Shelby
See, I have been cut out of people's lives, and I have cut people out. But, it just does not seem beneficial to me. Is it not easier to confront the situation? Is it not healthier to tell the person they hurt you? It seems to me, that ignoring them, cutting them out, acting like they never cared about you...is the easy way out.
My family has a history of just "ignoring" the person their mad at. Completely, totally, 100 % ignore them ...I think this act is childish and immature. Ignoring someone does not solve the problem, all it does it add resentment. I have a relative who is mad at me for posting on fb about my mothers dress. Well, to be honest, I have about 5 relatives mad. But they are mad because I posted the truth. I posted about wanting my mom's dress back...But I never said anyone's name...So, now I have a whole slew of family members ignoring me. I wonder if the "shoe was on the other foot" how they would feel? I wonder if their mother's heirlooms where thoughtlessly given away, if they would just "let it go?" I am assuming not!
So much has happened. Mean, hateful things. One person pushed my mom down the stairs of my grandmothers house. This same person continued to call my mom a F****** B****. Now, my mom is not innocent in this either. She did go to my grandmothers house and take some things that were hers, but in doing so, she was pushed down stairs, called names and had the police called on her TWICE! This behavior is uncalled for. This behavior is not something I want in my life. But how about we talk about it? How about we put it behind us by being adults? At one point we loved each other, and at one point we called each other family.
One day last week, I walked into my grandmothers hospital room. Sitting in a chair is one of these family members. The air was "ICE". The room was stiff with hatred, and it was very uncomfortable. I tried talking to Nana, but when this person is around, nobody else exists. I had Colt and Kloe with me and they were even ignored. How can you ignore innocent children? What did they ever do to you? I feel so strongly that this behavior only proves one point: That they are the ones with the problem. Not me!
I think kindness is a great way to really throw these immature people for a loop. I mean, come on...I think that giving the a good smile, really shows the who is the mature one. I would love to drop a plate of cookies off to this person. I would love to leave them at her door and just walk away. What would she think when she opened the door? Would she guess they are from the person she is currently ignoring? Every single time I see these people, I am going to spread happiness because maybe someday, they will learn that it is easier to love than hate.
I think this behavior adds so much anxiety and un-needed stress. I often wonder about how much hatred is inside of these family members? How everyday they walk around with this on their shoulders. I personally, do not want to live that way. I enjoy being happy. I enjoy finding things to be happy about. I enjoy making people happy, and I enjoy a good laugh. If I had so much hatred in me, I could not do these things. I would think that letting it go, would be the way to happiness. I would think that they would want to be happy...but then again, I am not them. I can't think that way, because I have chosen not to live my life with that baggage.
For me, the "baggage" is not a person. To me the "baggage" is the ignorance spread by these people. I will continue to teach my children that this type of behavior is no way to live. I will teach them to talk about what is bothering them and teach them the importance of working your problems out. Nothing ever gets solved by acting like the person does not exist. I hope my children know this.
So, to those family members: I hope you can find happiness somewhere. I hope you don't continue to cut people out, because someday, you may need them. Misery is a lonely place to be, and I hope someday you open your heart because you will be so much better off!
Now, I think I will go bake some cookies...
Till Next Time,
Shelby
Monday, April 30, 2012
My Mom's Wedding Dress Search!
For 40 years, my mom has been saving her wedding dress for me. For 40 years, it has hung in the rafters of my grandmothers house. It has never moved, and it has hung in the same dress bag for all these years. In one, quick, thoughtless act, in less than 1 minute, my mom's wedding dress was taken to Goodwill and donated without the care to call us to see if we would like the dress.
See, my Grandmother has gone to live in a care facility. She can no longer take care of herself. The person in charge of her house and belongings, took it upon them self to donate everything and anything that was my mothers. Her childhood games, dresses, toys, and books are all gone! I am pretty bitter about the whole thing. I would of loved to of had my mom's stuff to pass down to my children. I would of like to of had a dress made for my only daughter out of the wedding dress, but now that is not longer an option.
So Ihave started a campaign! The "FIND MY MOM'S WEDDING DRESS" Campaign!!!! I posted pictures and details on fb. I have contacted the Goodwill that it was donated to, and I found out that it was shipped to Marinette, Wi. I have contacted the warehouse in Marinette, and even had a wonderful friend go there with pictures in hand, to try to locate the dress. I am determined to get our family heirloom back! I am determined to show this person that cruelness can be overcome!
The wedding was January 22, 1972, In Sault Ste. Marie Mi. Also the same town the dress was donated in. They shipped it to Marinette, Wi, where it could have been distributed to any Goodwill store. Please help me find my mothers dress!
If you live by a Goodwill, please look for the dress. The Veil was with the dress. I would love to bring this home, where it belongs.
See, my Grandmother has gone to live in a care facility. She can no longer take care of herself. The person in charge of her house and belongings, took it upon them self to donate everything and anything that was my mothers. Her childhood games, dresses, toys, and books are all gone! I am pretty bitter about the whole thing. I would of loved to of had my mom's stuff to pass down to my children. I would of like to of had a dress made for my only daughter out of the wedding dress, but now that is not longer an option.
So Ihave started a campaign! The "FIND MY MOM'S WEDDING DRESS" Campaign!!!! I posted pictures and details on fb. I have contacted the Goodwill that it was donated to, and I found out that it was shipped to Marinette, Wi. I have contacted the warehouse in Marinette, and even had a wonderful friend go there with pictures in hand, to try to locate the dress. I am determined to get our family heirloom back! I am determined to show this person that cruelness can be overcome!
The wedding was January 22, 1972, In Sault Ste. Marie Mi. Also the same town the dress was donated in. They shipped it to Marinette, Wi, where it could have been distributed to any Goodwill store. Please help me find my mothers dress!
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| It is an Alfred Angelo. Size 12 or 14 |
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| The dress had lace detail from the neck to the bottom of the dress. |
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| A chapel length train with lace trim and bow at the mid back. |
If you live by a Goodwill, please look for the dress. The Veil was with the dress. I would love to bring this home, where it belongs.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Can Larry do my job for 4 days?
That's right! I am heading for my "Mommy Vacation," and leaving Larry in charge! For 4 full days, I will be gone and Larry will assume the role of Mommy and Daddy! Now, this should be interesting...
I have spent a lot of time wondering how this is going to go. I am worried about the boys homework, what they will eat, and bedtime. I am concerned that everything will get done and the boys will make it to school on time. Will he remember that Thursday is 1/2 day? The bus will drop the boys off at 1:20...will he be here? These are things he never has to worry about because I am the one taking care of it all. I have told him repeatedly about certain things that need to be done...lets just pray he remembers.
It is funny how a person can live here and still not really pay attention to all the details, but then again he does not have to...It is my job. It will be interesting to see how these 4 days go. My guess is he won't be home much. I bet he spends a lot of time with his mom, dad and brother. My guess is he is not going to be home doing exactly what I do...I am not sure he could handle it :)
This is the first time I am leaving Kloe. The past two times, I have taken her with me because I was nursing her. But now she is 18 months old and Larry can take care of all her needs. It is going to be hard leaving my baby, but I am grateful she will be with her daddy!
These weekends are what I need to rejuvenate myself. My job is hard, thankless, and stressful. It is so nice to get away and relax. Twice a year I get these vacations. Me and two friends go to a cabin and do nothing but scrapbook. We sit around and laugh. We watch real shows and talk about our crazy lives. We stay up for hours and sleep in in the morning. We go shopping and eat dinner as early or late as we want! It is just what I need.
It is amazing to me, just how many SAHM'S do not take time for themselves. I do have my once a week yoga class, but it is not enough. My life is so consumed by the needs of others , which usually means that my needs usually fall by the waste side. Not this weekend! It is all about ME!
Before I can even walk out the door, I must make a list for Larry. It will contain school schedules, bills that need to paid, homework schedule (my boys must read every night), Kade has a birthday party this weekend, bedtimes, bath time, dinner list, and dog schedule. I know that once I get down there, I will have forgotten something and trying to get Larry to answer a phone is ridiculous!
I have full confidence in Larry. Ok, half confidence! But there is one thing I know for sure, my kids will be safe! They will taken care of, and while the laundry may lack getting done, and the dishes may pile up in the sink, my kids will be spending quality time with their dad! You really don't get better than that.
So, while I am away putting all of their memories into their individual books, Larry will be making more memories with them. He will be taking more pictures for when the fall rolls around, I have more to scrapbook!
Now, I am off to enjoy the sweet sound of silence...Well, for 4 days anyway! By then I will be ready to see my sweet baby's!
I have spent a lot of time wondering how this is going to go. I am worried about the boys homework, what they will eat, and bedtime. I am concerned that everything will get done and the boys will make it to school on time. Will he remember that Thursday is 1/2 day? The bus will drop the boys off at 1:20...will he be here? These are things he never has to worry about because I am the one taking care of it all. I have told him repeatedly about certain things that need to be done...lets just pray he remembers.
It is funny how a person can live here and still not really pay attention to all the details, but then again he does not have to...It is my job. It will be interesting to see how these 4 days go. My guess is he won't be home much. I bet he spends a lot of time with his mom, dad and brother. My guess is he is not going to be home doing exactly what I do...I am not sure he could handle it :)
This is the first time I am leaving Kloe. The past two times, I have taken her with me because I was nursing her. But now she is 18 months old and Larry can take care of all her needs. It is going to be hard leaving my baby, but I am grateful she will be with her daddy!
These weekends are what I need to rejuvenate myself. My job is hard, thankless, and stressful. It is so nice to get away and relax. Twice a year I get these vacations. Me and two friends go to a cabin and do nothing but scrapbook. We sit around and laugh. We watch real shows and talk about our crazy lives. We stay up for hours and sleep in in the morning. We go shopping and eat dinner as early or late as we want! It is just what I need.
It is amazing to me, just how many SAHM'S do not take time for themselves. I do have my once a week yoga class, but it is not enough. My life is so consumed by the needs of others , which usually means that my needs usually fall by the waste side. Not this weekend! It is all about ME!
Before I can even walk out the door, I must make a list for Larry. It will contain school schedules, bills that need to paid, homework schedule (my boys must read every night), Kade has a birthday party this weekend, bedtimes, bath time, dinner list, and dog schedule. I know that once I get down there, I will have forgotten something and trying to get Larry to answer a phone is ridiculous!
I have full confidence in Larry. Ok, half confidence! But there is one thing I know for sure, my kids will be safe! They will taken care of, and while the laundry may lack getting done, and the dishes may pile up in the sink, my kids will be spending quality time with their dad! You really don't get better than that.
So, while I am away putting all of their memories into their individual books, Larry will be making more memories with them. He will be taking more pictures for when the fall rolls around, I have more to scrapbook!
Now, I am off to enjoy the sweet sound of silence...Well, for 4 days anyway! By then I will be ready to see my sweet baby's!
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Witnessing of a Miracle - A Birth Story
See, my dear friend has endured heartache on the deepest level. While 5 times she has delivered healthy baby's, 5 other times, she has lost baby's. Many people that know the story, are amazed that she and her husband continue to try to grow their family. But anyone who knows this amazing couple, also know that they let God guide them in their decisions. They are not in control of their destiny, how many children they have, or even if they will be carried to term. It is the ultimate test and belief in faith. With their faith wrapped around God, they take whatever journey He lays out for them. They take it with open arms.
So, 9 months ago, we all are overjoyed yet cautious as to what is to come. Because, we do not know what God has in store for Trina and Sam. But as the months tick by, the baby grows and grows.
Katrina's due date was March 14. At the beginning of her pregnancy, she popped out fast. We took bets on if she was having twins or not. Surprisingly, 40 weeks came and went. It is amazing what a mothers intuition will tell you. See, Trina is a minimalist. She does not want doctors to interfere with what God made. She does not see the need for crazy tests, ultrasounds, and induction, and it seemed that once she hit her due date, her doctor was uncomfortable letting nature take its course. Trina stuck to her belief,s and let God take over when He chose to have the baby make its debut.
We all waited in anticipation for the phone call to come that she was in labor. For almost 3 weeks, I would call her and tell her where I was going, when I would be back, and where she could reach me if need be. She had invited me to attend the delivery. I was there when Hannah was born, and it was so incredible. I was delighted when she asked me to attend this one. So, for weeks we waited, and waited, and waited.
The morning of April 2, I was exhausted! Not really sure why, but I was tired. I cleaned, drank a cup of coffee, and closed my eyes on the couch. I woke up and I had quite the mess to deal with. Kloe had decided to eat strawberry's and they were everywhere. I left shortly before 11 a.m. because I had a couple of errands to run. I ran to my friends house real quick, the grocery store, dropped Colt off to school, and then came home. As I was walking in the door, my phone rang. I looked at the number and did not recognize it right away. I decided I should answer anyway. It was Trina. I froze! I was horrified that the only day I did not call to let her know where I was, was the day she needed me and I was no where to be found. When I heard her voice she said "Shelby?" I said "yes" Trina said, " Did you get any of my message?" I said "no." Then she said "I left 3 of them, and I am in labor and my contractions are 4 minutes apart." "We are on our way to the hospital." I instantly was scared. It was the middle of the day and I had no one to watch Kloe or get my boys off the bus. She then said to me, which I will never forget. "Do what you need to do and just get here."
In that 45 minute time period, so much had changed. I talked to two of my friends and they were generous enough to help me. I dropped Kloe off to Grandma Danielle's, and my friend Kristie was going to get my boys off the bus. I am truly blessed with great friends. With my children taken care of, I headed to the hospital. When I walked in, it was silent. No one was making a sound. Trina was on the bed in a heavy contraction and her husband beside her coaching her through. Trina's mom was dabbing her with a washcloth, and Trina's Midwife was bedside. Trina's good friend, Kendra, was standing back. She looked at me and said, "We are in the non-talking stage of labor right now."
Kendra and I stood back and watched this beautiful story unfold. Sam was so attentive to Trina. Making sure her needs and wants were taken care of. For the longest time, we just watched. We both felt helpless to Trina. We wanted to be there for her and we wanted her out of pain. Trina had no drugs and no IV. She had her body doing the work, naturally, and she could move around as she pleased.
After being there for about 30 minutes, we could tell her contractions were very strong. She breathed through them without making a peep. She is an expert laborer! I could only wish I was like that when I was in labor!!! Her pain control is outstanding. Her focus is out of this world, and her ability to read her body is amazing. She was born to birth baby's. This is her calling!
As she was getting into the real heavy labor, I went up to her ear and told her she was amazing. She was doing so good and she was simply outstanding. She was in between contractions and blinked her eyes. She later told me that meant a lot to her. That it really helped her get through a couple of those horrendous contractions. She asked me to rub her back and I did. I was not sure I was doing a good job, but I tried. We all were waiting for her to tell us she needed to push. Trina switched positions a few times. There was one contraction where Trina was standing. Sam grabbed a hold of her and held her as the pain was evident. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she swayed back and forth. Not once did Sam hesitate to help her through. They are a team and he was her rock.
Trina decided it was time to push. She was on her hands and knees on the bed. As she began to push, her Mom waived me to the back. Now, I have witnessed a birth before, but not from this angle. I was a little nervous as to if my stomach could handle it, but it was nothing short of amazing. The rest of the process, flew by. All at once, I am looking at the face of Trina and Sam's baby. There was a huge amount of dark, wavy hair and cheeks!! This baby had cheeks :)
What an absolute beautiful sight. In the next push, the baby was out!!! The cord was wrapped around the baby 3 times and it was silent in the room. No crying...but in a matter of seconds, we heard the music we all wanted! A cry!
It's a GIRL!
We all stood in amazement and excited! She was here...She was with us...She was beautiful!
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| Jemima (Jemma) Grace Ledy |
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| Trina and Jemma |
After about 3 hours, they did need a weight on Jemma. So, they brought their scale in the room and did a quick weight, length, and head measurement.
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| Jemma, weighing 8 lbs 12.4 oz and 21 inches long |
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| Daddy kissing Jemma |
After we all enjoyed the next couple of hours, they moved us to a private room. Hence, our "after birth party began." We all sat around reliving the last few hours. We laughed, we ate, we kissed on Jemma! No words can describe the blessing that Sam and Trina have been given. They now have 5 beautiful, healthy, happy, children. 4 girls and 1 boy!
Today will go down as one of the most memorable days in my life. Watching someone give birth is more than a miracle, it is Heaven sent! I can't describe the emotion I felt that day. Trina and Sam were so wonderful to let me into the moment when their family grew more. They gave me such a beautiful memory. The turn of events that day, will forever be engraved in my mind. Thank you Trina and Sam for making my day one I will never forget!
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| Me and Baby Jemma |
Now, off to cook my dear friends dinner! They do have quite the blessings sitting around their table. Plus, I need to kiss on my favorite new person...Miss Jemma Ledy!
Loving my Happy Heart,
Shelby
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Greed
Greed - is the inordinate desire to possess wealth, goods, or objects of abstract value with the intention to keep it for one's self, far beyond the dictates of basic survival and comfort. It is applied to a markedly high desire for and pursuit of wealth, status, and power.
What a powerful word...What a horrible way to live...and family seems to be the worst culprit. Greed destroy's family's, tares them apart, and pits one against another. Why do people have the desire to be in control of everything? Why do people feel the need to hurt others through greed?
Our family, once was a tight knit unit. Sunday dinners at my grandmothers and hours playing with my cousins in the basement. I have so many fond memories of my childhood at my grandmothers. The fireplace stoked by my grandfather. Us 7 kids, hopping around on our bouncy balls. We would do this every Sunday. When we would leave, my grandmother would hand out a pack of gum to each of us. Oh, the good old days. Now our family is in pieces, torn apart by greed and the desire to control it all.
Without going into detail, possessions have somehow overshadowed what is important. Possessions that belong to no one but my grandmother. As my grandmother is laying in Long Term Care, her family, at the moment, is ripping her house apart. Fighting over who gets what and when. One has all the power and the other has nothing...not even a key to enter the house. Who does this? She is still alive! When has it gone to far?
I can't imagine what if feels like for my grandmother laying in her little corner in Long Term Care. I have talked to her a few times today and she is so depressed. She knows she will never go home. She knows her house is being taken apart, she knows this is how she is going to live the remainder of her life. See, her house needs to be sold to pay for her care. So the contents must be dispersed. My grandmother has allotted who gets what...but that does not stop the greed. Why would something think they should get something over someone else? Obviously, my grandmother has taken the time to chose who she wants her possessions to go to. But should this not be done after she is gone? It seems so cruel and so heartless to fight over a living person's things.
There are some things that would mean a great deal to me, but only if she wanted me to have them. Like her Scategories game. My cousin Allison and I, used to play this game with Nana for hours. We would laugh at the craziness. We would eat popcorn, play the game, and just have fun. That is how I want to remember my grandmother.
My family has taught me something very valuable. There are some people I NEVER want to be like. I will never, under any circumstances pit my children against each other. I will NEVER let greed control me. I will NEVER fight for something that I have no right to. I have seem my family torn apart over the stupidest thing. I have witnessed horrible words, actions, and events unfold before death has even occurred. I think it is time for people to grow up and to remember what is important. That someday soon, the Matriarch of our family will be gone. There will not be anymore phone calls, visits or memories to be made. We will only live on the memories we have left, and I refuse to have them be soured by greed.
I wish certain family members would grow up and cherish the time left with Nana. Possessions are just possessions, my grandmother is a LIFE!
Hating family dynamics in Pickford,
Shelby
What a powerful word...What a horrible way to live...and family seems to be the worst culprit. Greed destroy's family's, tares them apart, and pits one against another. Why do people have the desire to be in control of everything? Why do people feel the need to hurt others through greed?
Our family, once was a tight knit unit. Sunday dinners at my grandmothers and hours playing with my cousins in the basement. I have so many fond memories of my childhood at my grandmothers. The fireplace stoked by my grandfather. Us 7 kids, hopping around on our bouncy balls. We would do this every Sunday. When we would leave, my grandmother would hand out a pack of gum to each of us. Oh, the good old days. Now our family is in pieces, torn apart by greed and the desire to control it all.
Without going into detail, possessions have somehow overshadowed what is important. Possessions that belong to no one but my grandmother. As my grandmother is laying in Long Term Care, her family, at the moment, is ripping her house apart. Fighting over who gets what and when. One has all the power and the other has nothing...not even a key to enter the house. Who does this? She is still alive! When has it gone to far?
I can't imagine what if feels like for my grandmother laying in her little corner in Long Term Care. I have talked to her a few times today and she is so depressed. She knows she will never go home. She knows her house is being taken apart, she knows this is how she is going to live the remainder of her life. See, her house needs to be sold to pay for her care. So the contents must be dispersed. My grandmother has allotted who gets what...but that does not stop the greed. Why would something think they should get something over someone else? Obviously, my grandmother has taken the time to chose who she wants her possessions to go to. But should this not be done after she is gone? It seems so cruel and so heartless to fight over a living person's things.
There are some things that would mean a great deal to me, but only if she wanted me to have them. Like her Scategories game. My cousin Allison and I, used to play this game with Nana for hours. We would laugh at the craziness. We would eat popcorn, play the game, and just have fun. That is how I want to remember my grandmother.
My family has taught me something very valuable. There are some people I NEVER want to be like. I will never, under any circumstances pit my children against each other. I will NEVER let greed control me. I will NEVER fight for something that I have no right to. I have seem my family torn apart over the stupidest thing. I have witnessed horrible words, actions, and events unfold before death has even occurred. I think it is time for people to grow up and to remember what is important. That someday soon, the Matriarch of our family will be gone. There will not be anymore phone calls, visits or memories to be made. We will only live on the memories we have left, and I refuse to have them be soured by greed.
I wish certain family members would grow up and cherish the time left with Nana. Possessions are just possessions, my grandmother is a LIFE!
Hating family dynamics in Pickford,
Shelby
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Mom to 3 Boys...
Awww, the sweet sound of boys playing...The laughter, the camaraderie, the love between brothers! Yeah right! Not around here! We have, "That is my Beyblade, or Mom, Colt is ruining my Lego tower." But when there is silence, you know something is WRONG!
The other day, I decided to straighten up and clean out the boys room. I had bought some bins to put their toys in. While I was hard at work, I hear nothing...silence...followed by the sound of Kade saying "Mom, you better get in here!" "What Kade?" "Umm, Colt and Blake dumped a whole container of salt into the gallon of milk!" "WHAT?" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" This is my life...this is what it is like to raise boys! This is a WHOLE new world to me.
See, I grew up with 2 sisters. At no point did we ever think of doing these crazy antics. We would play house, braid Aubree's hair, or play outside peacefully. We would fight...we would argue, but we did not do the crazy things my boys have done. The "milk" incident is one of many that have occurred at my house. I distinctly remember Kade as a 4 year old, whom was fully potty trained standing on top of my end table watering my carpet! I said, "Kade, why did you do that?" His response; "I wanted to see how far I could make it go!"
Another time, the boys decided to take my can goods out of the cabinet. They proceeded to roll them down the stairs, only after they took the labels off of them. When I find this out, I am shocked to see about 10-12 cans, labels off, at the bottom of my basement steps. Who the heck knows what is in the cans anymore? For a long time after, it was a guessing game as to what was in the cans. Is it corn? Peas? or Cream of Mushroom Soup?
Events like these, make me want to pull my hair out! They make me want to run and hide...many times I question what I am doing wrong? Am I not watching them closely enough? Am I letting them get away with to much? When it comes down to it, no I am not! I can't control everything. I cant prevent all events...But, I can let them be boys!
I have never been one to get all fired up about things like getting dirty, changing their clothes 100 times because they decided to jump in mud puddles, or watching them ride their skateboards down a hill into a pile of sand. What is the point? If they are dirty, they are happy. If they are wet, it means they explored. If they rode into a pile of sand; they have made a memory! These are the things they will remember. They are the events that mean the most! Holes in jeans, dirt of face, sand in shoes...means life is good!
Raising boys is so much harder than I ever expected. It really challenges you as a parent. Obviously, as a girl, I do not understand their thinking. I do not relate to them at all. But it is days like this morning that get me through. I woke up to Blake saying, "Stay in bed Mom, we have a surprise for you."
My rowdy boys took the time to make me breakfast in bed! 4 pieces of cold, buttered toast, a peanut butter and jelly, and cold coffee! How could this not warm your heart? How could you be mad about the gallon of milk getting ruined? Because at the end of the day, they are my life. They are my happiness, they are what gets me up every morning to messes I can't control. I am so blessed to have them in my life, blessed that call ME Mom!
Looking forward to another hectic day in Pickford,
Shelby
The other day, I decided to straighten up and clean out the boys room. I had bought some bins to put their toys in. While I was hard at work, I hear nothing...silence...followed by the sound of Kade saying "Mom, you better get in here!" "What Kade?" "Umm, Colt and Blake dumped a whole container of salt into the gallon of milk!" "WHAT?" "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" This is my life...this is what it is like to raise boys! This is a WHOLE new world to me.
See, I grew up with 2 sisters. At no point did we ever think of doing these crazy antics. We would play house, braid Aubree's hair, or play outside peacefully. We would fight...we would argue, but we did not do the crazy things my boys have done. The "milk" incident is one of many that have occurred at my house. I distinctly remember Kade as a 4 year old, whom was fully potty trained standing on top of my end table watering my carpet! I said, "Kade, why did you do that?" His response; "I wanted to see how far I could make it go!"
Another time, the boys decided to take my can goods out of the cabinet. They proceeded to roll them down the stairs, only after they took the labels off of them. When I find this out, I am shocked to see about 10-12 cans, labels off, at the bottom of my basement steps. Who the heck knows what is in the cans anymore? For a long time after, it was a guessing game as to what was in the cans. Is it corn? Peas? or Cream of Mushroom Soup?
Events like these, make me want to pull my hair out! They make me want to run and hide...many times I question what I am doing wrong? Am I not watching them closely enough? Am I letting them get away with to much? When it comes down to it, no I am not! I can't control everything. I cant prevent all events...But, I can let them be boys!
I have never been one to get all fired up about things like getting dirty, changing their clothes 100 times because they decided to jump in mud puddles, or watching them ride their skateboards down a hill into a pile of sand. What is the point? If they are dirty, they are happy. If they are wet, it means they explored. If they rode into a pile of sand; they have made a memory! These are the things they will remember. They are the events that mean the most! Holes in jeans, dirt of face, sand in shoes...means life is good!
My rowdy boys took the time to make me breakfast in bed! 4 pieces of cold, buttered toast, a peanut butter and jelly, and cold coffee! How could this not warm your heart? How could you be mad about the gallon of milk getting ruined? Because at the end of the day, they are my life. They are my happiness, they are what gets me up every morning to messes I can't control. I am so blessed to have them in my life, blessed that call ME Mom!
Looking forward to another hectic day in Pickford,
Shelby
Monday, March 26, 2012
The End of Life....
I remember laying in bed as a child, thinking about death. It seemed so far away. So in the future, and something I would not have to worry about for years and years. I remember thinking of what it would be like after my mom was gone, and it scared me to death. But again, why worry now? Right?
Well, it has been years, and now I am facing the reality of my maternal grandmother health is failing, and it is failing fast. See, my Nana has always been one of high energy. This year she turned 87, and she has always been very active. Walking her dog around the neighborhood, running to the grocery store, going out to eat, planning her class reunion, and keeping busy with her yard work. But that has all come to an end. At the end of September, Nana took a fall that has changed her life. In that short period of time, she has gone from complete independence, to living in Long Term Care at the hospital.
She had two falls. One outside and one in the bathtub. She never told anyone about the falls. It was not until her leg started to ache that she disclosed what actually happened. They did all the tests that were possible and they never found the source of the pain, but she could not even stand on it. She was in and out of the hospital for months, and even a relative took her on, but it was to much for one person. The decision was made to put her in Long Term Care where she will reside for the remainder of her life.
This is beyond heartbreaking to watch. Last night, Larry and I went to visit her. She shares a room with 3 other ladies. She greeted us with a huge smile and introduced us to her roommates. She was sitting on her bed eating a carrot, which is one of her favorite foods. Larry sat on the chair and I sat on her bed. Thus, began our visit. At first I was taken back by how frail she was. I was surprised when she told me that she no longer desires to go down to the dining hall to eat, she prefers to eat in her room. She told us that she does not want to participate in BINGO, or any other games or activities provided. She wants to sit in her little corner and just be! How could someone so social not want to socialize? Where did my Nana go? And, I want her back!
As we were talking, I looked at Larry. He was in deep conversation with Nana. My mind drifted to thoughts of...this could be me someday. Someday, Larry may not be here and I will be alone in this type of environment. My eyes filled with tears. I can't imagine not having him around everyday. I can't imagine saying goodbye to him. But reality is, that someday that could happen. Why is it that we have to endure this type of pain? Why can't people die together? Why does the end of life have to be so cruel?
Nana said she has had to make some very hard decisions. Like putting her house up for sale that she has lived in since she was first married almost 70 years ago. And also coming to the realization that she won't ever live there again, surrounded by the things that mean the most to her. Instead, she will live out the remaining years in a little corner with a small tv and a serving tray. This literally breaks my heart.
During our visit, Nana said that she has to accept this way of life because now it is time for someone to take care of her. And she is right. She can't live alone and she needs to be safe. Plus, she has spent her whole life taking care of everyone else. This is so true. I am amazed at how people are so eager to take care of a new baby but yet so reluctant to take care of the elderly. Are they really not one in the same? Both need love, nurturing, daily care, and most of all attention. They need human contact and to know they are loved. They need guidance, support and to know they matter, to know they worthy, to know their life meant something.
For now, I will continue to visit Nana and in hopes I always get just "one more visit." I promise not to ignore her, and tell her everyday how much I love her and appreciate her. Because at some point, I will never get this chance again. I want her to know just what she meant to me and how much I have cherished every second I have had with her. I promise to make her "End of Life" a good one.
With a sad heart in Pickford,
Shelby
Well, it has been years, and now I am facing the reality of my maternal grandmother health is failing, and it is failing fast. See, my Nana has always been one of high energy. This year she turned 87, and she has always been very active. Walking her dog around the neighborhood, running to the grocery store, going out to eat, planning her class reunion, and keeping busy with her yard work. But that has all come to an end. At the end of September, Nana took a fall that has changed her life. In that short period of time, she has gone from complete independence, to living in Long Term Care at the hospital.
She had two falls. One outside and one in the bathtub. She never told anyone about the falls. It was not until her leg started to ache that she disclosed what actually happened. They did all the tests that were possible and they never found the source of the pain, but she could not even stand on it. She was in and out of the hospital for months, and even a relative took her on, but it was to much for one person. The decision was made to put her in Long Term Care where she will reside for the remainder of her life.
This is beyond heartbreaking to watch. Last night, Larry and I went to visit her. She shares a room with 3 other ladies. She greeted us with a huge smile and introduced us to her roommates. She was sitting on her bed eating a carrot, which is one of her favorite foods. Larry sat on the chair and I sat on her bed. Thus, began our visit. At first I was taken back by how frail she was. I was surprised when she told me that she no longer desires to go down to the dining hall to eat, she prefers to eat in her room. She told us that she does not want to participate in BINGO, or any other games or activities provided. She wants to sit in her little corner and just be! How could someone so social not want to socialize? Where did my Nana go? And, I want her back!
As we were talking, I looked at Larry. He was in deep conversation with Nana. My mind drifted to thoughts of...this could be me someday. Someday, Larry may not be here and I will be alone in this type of environment. My eyes filled with tears. I can't imagine not having him around everyday. I can't imagine saying goodbye to him. But reality is, that someday that could happen. Why is it that we have to endure this type of pain? Why can't people die together? Why does the end of life have to be so cruel?
Nana said she has had to make some very hard decisions. Like putting her house up for sale that she has lived in since she was first married almost 70 years ago. And also coming to the realization that she won't ever live there again, surrounded by the things that mean the most to her. Instead, she will live out the remaining years in a little corner with a small tv and a serving tray. This literally breaks my heart.
During our visit, Nana said that she has to accept this way of life because now it is time for someone to take care of her. And she is right. She can't live alone and she needs to be safe. Plus, she has spent her whole life taking care of everyone else. This is so true. I am amazed at how people are so eager to take care of a new baby but yet so reluctant to take care of the elderly. Are they really not one in the same? Both need love, nurturing, daily care, and most of all attention. They need human contact and to know they are loved. They need guidance, support and to know they matter, to know they worthy, to know their life meant something.
For now, I will continue to visit Nana and in hopes I always get just "one more visit." I promise not to ignore her, and tell her everyday how much I love her and appreciate her. Because at some point, I will never get this chance again. I want her to know just what she meant to me and how much I have cherished every second I have had with her. I promise to make her "End of Life" a good one.
With a sad heart in Pickford,
Shelby
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Things I AM!
I had a post a long time ago titled "Things I am NOT" so I thought I should follow that up with the things I AM..
1. I am a good listener - I really love to listen to my friends talk. I try hard to give them helpful advice. I think this is one reason one of my passions is to be a counselor. One of these days I will go back for my Master's Degree in counseling.
2. I am a good cook and baker - This has been a passion of mine since I was a little girl. I love to have treats for my family and I love to try new things...now, they may not always be good, but I sure do try.
3. I am the peace maker of the family - I have always been the one who wants to keep and make every one happy. Many times it is at my expense... I have learned, in the past few years, to be better at trying to make myself happy before trying to make others. But it is a hard habit to break!
4. I am a Breastfeeding and Preemie Parenting advocate - Breastfeeding is something I feel very passionate about. I did not breastfeed Kade, due to having NO support from my family. I regret that decision more than anything else. When Blake was born premature, I could have cared less what my family thought about breastfeeding...best decision I ever made :) I feel very strongly about it...Also, when Blake was in the NICU, I had no one to talk to who had been in my situation. This was very hard for me. I would love to talk to other mothers struggling during their NICU time...but since we don't have a NICU up here, I have to do it online....
5. I am a very social person - Anyone who knows me, knows this is true. I think I could talk to a brick wall if I had to. I am happiest when I am socializing with friends and family. I love a good conversation and I am rarely at a loss for words :)
6. I am very forgetful - Holy Cow...what has happened to my brain? I think I would forget my head if it was not attached. I am forgetful and I lose everything! It is quite rediculous....
7. I am very self-consious - I hate this about me. I wish I could be happy in my skin, but I have always been plagued by my low self-esteem...mainly with weight issues...
8. I am a person who can get by with very little sleep - I have always been this way. Even in college, I would stay up really late and get up early for work. I can function just fine on very few hours of sleep...I guess that is one of the reasons I am a decent Mom...
9. I am a home body. I love to be home with my family. Many times my mom will ask me to go to the movies with her. Honestly, I would rather stay home with my husband and kids. I hate driving the long 24 mile drive to Pickford at night and you will never catch me out and about when it is snowing. Some people think I am boring. I think I like safety and routines.
10. I am an organizational nightmare! I am not kidding...I try so hard and it always goes back to things falling out of my cabinets. I feel sorry for Larry. See, he is an Engineer. He is percise, everything has a spot, and he is very organized. He has had to learn to live with me...and I feel bad. I try so hard, but it overwhelms me so much that I run from it. This year, I have devoted my life to organizing:) Stay tuned for progress notes on this subject!
So, these are just a few of the things I am! If you know me, and I am forgetting something (refer back to #6) please feel free to leave a comment about it...I would love others perspectives of me!
Until Next Time,
Shelby
2. I am a good cook and baker - This has been a passion of mine since I was a little girl. I love to have treats for my family and I love to try new things...now, they may not always be good, but I sure do try.
3. I am the peace maker of the family - I have always been the one who wants to keep and make every one happy. Many times it is at my expense... I have learned, in the past few years, to be better at trying to make myself happy before trying to make others. But it is a hard habit to break!
4. I am a Breastfeeding and Preemie Parenting advocate - Breastfeeding is something I feel very passionate about. I did not breastfeed Kade, due to having NO support from my family. I regret that decision more than anything else. When Blake was born premature, I could have cared less what my family thought about breastfeeding...best decision I ever made :) I feel very strongly about it...Also, when Blake was in the NICU, I had no one to talk to who had been in my situation. This was very hard for me. I would love to talk to other mothers struggling during their NICU time...but since we don't have a NICU up here, I have to do it online....
5. I am a very social person - Anyone who knows me, knows this is true. I think I could talk to a brick wall if I had to. I am happiest when I am socializing with friends and family. I love a good conversation and I am rarely at a loss for words :)
6. I am very forgetful - Holy Cow...what has happened to my brain? I think I would forget my head if it was not attached. I am forgetful and I lose everything! It is quite rediculous....
7. I am very self-consious - I hate this about me. I wish I could be happy in my skin, but I have always been plagued by my low self-esteem...mainly with weight issues...
8. I am a person who can get by with very little sleep - I have always been this way. Even in college, I would stay up really late and get up early for work. I can function just fine on very few hours of sleep...I guess that is one of the reasons I am a decent Mom...
9. I am a home body. I love to be home with my family. Many times my mom will ask me to go to the movies with her. Honestly, I would rather stay home with my husband and kids. I hate driving the long 24 mile drive to Pickford at night and you will never catch me out and about when it is snowing. Some people think I am boring. I think I like safety and routines.
10. I am an organizational nightmare! I am not kidding...I try so hard and it always goes back to things falling out of my cabinets. I feel sorry for Larry. See, he is an Engineer. He is percise, everything has a spot, and he is very organized. He has had to learn to live with me...and I feel bad. I try so hard, but it overwhelms me so much that I run from it. This year, I have devoted my life to organizing:) Stay tuned for progress notes on this subject!
So, these are just a few of the things I am! If you know me, and I am forgetting something (refer back to #6) please feel free to leave a comment about it...I would love others perspectives of me!
Until Next Time,
Shelby
Its the Simple Things....
Because, we live in a small little house that used to be a log home. There are 6 of us in a 3 bedroom house. I have a problem with organization. I have tried, and I stink at it :) But, I have decided that I am going to get it together and organize my life. I started painting, with the help of my amazing friend, Tawni, We painted the "log" room (where the cubbies will reside) the entryway and my bathroom...My cubbies will contain 6 lockers with a spot for a wicker basket on top. The bottom will be for shoes...Then I am going to stain it and polyurethane them to a high shine gloss! This is a dream come true!
See, it s the small things in life that make it so much better. Its the little things that will make my life easier that has me so excited. Larry thinks I'm crazy for being so wrapped up in these cubbies. But I can't take the mittens, boots, coats, backpacks, scarves, and snow pants thrown in the "log" room. I have put hooks up and they don't get used. I have put a huge wicker basket for mittens, hats, and scarves in there...guess what? That does not get used. I am fed up with cutter, laziness and messes! Thus, the shear joy and excitement for my cubbies!
Everyday after school, the boys come ripping into the house and throw their things where ever they may land. Not anymore! As soon as the cubbies are done...new rules, new habits, a new way of life! Yes, this sketch is going to change my life... I can hardly wait!
Excited in Pickford,
Shelby :)
Friday, March 23, 2012
Being a Stay At Home Mom....
Growing up I wanted to do many things. I wanted to be a Model, an Actress, a Hair Dresser, a Flight Attendant, Orthodontist, and even Miss America. Never once did I tell myself I wanted to be a Stay At Home Mom. I remember when I was young, my mom would take me to dance lessons over in Canada. One time we were talking about what I wanted to be when I grow up. I remember, as we were crossing the bridge, I told her I wanted to do something great with my life. I wanted to make something of myself, and I wanted to be successfull. I never wanted to struggle for money. I wanted a huge house, and I wanted to be independent. This goal came from watching my mom raise us girls by herself. I just never wanted to find myself in that same position.
I don't know what would have been easier, picking one of these career choices or becoming a Stay at Home Mom? I can't imagine anything being harder than the job I have. When Kade was 5 months old, we moved back to the Soo after being gone for 6 years. I remember, we were driving back from Detour, we had just got our taxes done, and I told Larry I could not imagine leaving Kade to go to work. The feeling actually made me sick. I was scared to let my baby be in the care of anyone but me. At that moment, we decided that no matter how much money Larry was making, I would stay home. We would find way and it may be hard for a while, but we were going to make it work.
It was hard at first getting used to not having to be somewhere. I had finished up my student teaching, and life with no homework was amazing. I found myself really enjoying the alone time with Kade. I loved watching him grow and change . I loved being the one he depended on, and the one who got to witness his first time rolling over, first foods, and the first steps he took. It was weird being able to just do what we wanted and not being on a schedule. I was so happy, I wanted to have another baby right away.
We bought our house in Pickford in October of 2003. I was pregnant with Blake and we were settling into life as a Stay at Home Mom...When Blake was born 10 weeks early, that is when the reality set in that I would be not only responsible for Kade, but also a premature baby boy! The thought of being alone with him was terrifying, but I knew that I could do it. I had spent 6 weeks with Blake in the NICU, I knew all the special things that he needed, and I was confident because I just wanted him home. Things of course fell into place. my routine become apparent and my former life of wanting to be a teacher was gone. I was now, completely, 100%, a SAHM!
There are many days, even know, that I think to myself..."I wonder what I would be teaching?" or "I wonder how our lives would be different with two incomes?" But as I reflect on this, it does not matter. You see, I have devoted my life to being here for my kids. I have devoted my life to laundry, cleaning the toilet, wiping up messes, tripping over shoes, stepping on Lego's, vacuuming the floor, sweeping up sand, bathing the kids, scrubbing the tub, making snacks and dinner...the list goes on and on! As I think about what "could of been" I am blessed by "what actually is." No amount of money could make me happier. No amount of money could change the joy I have felt for the last 9 years. See, my degree has not gone to waste because I am a teacher. I may not teach other peoples children, I teach my own, everyday! There is no greater job or joy, than that of a SAHM!
So, for the many days I feel overwhelmed, broken, unappreciated, and tired, I need to reflect on the joy in my life. I need to appreciate the wonderful blessing I have. My husband has a good job that allows me to be with my children. I have 4 wonderfully, healthy, vibrant, children, who make my world rotate. I have family and friends who get me through the rough days, and I have an amazing husband who loves me! What more could one person want? Well, how about........A NAP?
I don't know what would have been easier, picking one of these career choices or becoming a Stay at Home Mom? I can't imagine anything being harder than the job I have. When Kade was 5 months old, we moved back to the Soo after being gone for 6 years. I remember, we were driving back from Detour, we had just got our taxes done, and I told Larry I could not imagine leaving Kade to go to work. The feeling actually made me sick. I was scared to let my baby be in the care of anyone but me. At that moment, we decided that no matter how much money Larry was making, I would stay home. We would find way and it may be hard for a while, but we were going to make it work.
It was hard at first getting used to not having to be somewhere. I had finished up my student teaching, and life with no homework was amazing. I found myself really enjoying the alone time with Kade. I loved watching him grow and change . I loved being the one he depended on, and the one who got to witness his first time rolling over, first foods, and the first steps he took. It was weird being able to just do what we wanted and not being on a schedule. I was so happy, I wanted to have another baby right away.
We bought our house in Pickford in October of 2003. I was pregnant with Blake and we were settling into life as a Stay at Home Mom...When Blake was born 10 weeks early, that is when the reality set in that I would be not only responsible for Kade, but also a premature baby boy! The thought of being alone with him was terrifying, but I knew that I could do it. I had spent 6 weeks with Blake in the NICU, I knew all the special things that he needed, and I was confident because I just wanted him home. Things of course fell into place. my routine become apparent and my former life of wanting to be a teacher was gone. I was now, completely, 100%, a SAHM!
There are many days, even know, that I think to myself..."I wonder what I would be teaching?" or "I wonder how our lives would be different with two incomes?" But as I reflect on this, it does not matter. You see, I have devoted my life to being here for my kids. I have devoted my life to laundry, cleaning the toilet, wiping up messes, tripping over shoes, stepping on Lego's, vacuuming the floor, sweeping up sand, bathing the kids, scrubbing the tub, making snacks and dinner...the list goes on and on! As I think about what "could of been" I am blessed by "what actually is." No amount of money could make me happier. No amount of money could change the joy I have felt for the last 9 years. See, my degree has not gone to waste because I am a teacher. I may not teach other peoples children, I teach my own, everyday! There is no greater job or joy, than that of a SAHM!
So, for the many days I feel overwhelmed, broken, unappreciated, and tired, I need to reflect on the joy in my life. I need to appreciate the wonderful blessing I have. My husband has a good job that allows me to be with my children. I have 4 wonderfully, healthy, vibrant, children, who make my world rotate. I have family and friends who get me through the rough days, and I have an amazing husband who loves me! What more could one person want? Well, how about........A NAP?
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Can't believe it has been almost a year!
Oh, how I have missed you! I can't believe it has been almost a year since I have wrote in my blog. But as a mom of 4, time just gets away from you. Many wonderful things happened to me this past year. My baby girl is now 17 months old and growing so fast. I just changed her closet over to 24 month clothes. Kinda breaks my heart, but I am so grateful for her and the joy she has brought to the family...
My boys are growing and thriving. Kade is doing great in the 3rd grade and getting ready for the science fair. Blake is loving the 1st grade and becoming a very good reader :) Then there is Colt! My 5 year old who has so much personality:) He is quite the comedian. This past year has been very busy and fun! I am so looking forward to summer vacation.
Larry and I celebrated our 14th anniversary this year. We went to a wonderful resort outside of Traverse City, Mi. It was quiet, quaint and just what we needed to reconnect. It is amazing how this weekend together really brings us back to the beginning and refreshes us for the upcoming year. We have made our anniversary a priority for 14 years now and I truly believe it is one of the reasons we still are in love after all these years. Time alone is so important...
This year sadness has made its way in also! My grandmother's health is failing and she is not doing well at all. She has always been a very vibrant lady. Walking her dog and running to the local casino for quarters, but that has all ended. She had to give her dog away and she is now living in the Long Term Care in our hospital. This is so hard to watch. It also amazes me at how taking care of an elderly person is not something anyone wants to do. It surprised me just how many other members of the family have let the responsibility fall on just a few. Now, I understand many live away and that is not what I am referring to...but we have many capable members in town who can't seem to even visit or call. Makes me so sad. I really don't know how much time I have left with my grandmother, but I know I plan on making it count!
This past year, I have also met some wonderful people. I met my friend, Ali. She really changed my life. She is one of those friends that you can't imagine not having and I often wonder what I did without her. Sadly, she has moved to Arkansas with her family for her husbands job. But we still have a very deep bond that is indescribable. I also have met a wonderful girl named Kristie. What an amazing person she is. I feel so blessed to have met her at a time when I was so lonely. These two women really have changed my life in the last year. Thank you to both of you for making my days shorter and for making me smile everyday!
More good news!!! Baby's, baby's, baby's everywhere! But not me!! My baby sister is having a baby girl in May! I am so excited! She sends me pictures daily of her belly. She also calls me with questions, which I feel so honored she comes to me. I can't wait to hold this little bundle. Also, one of my very best friends, Katrina is over-due to have her baby! This is so exciting for me. She has invited me to the birth. I have been present at one of her daughters birth about 4 years ago, and it was one of the most memorable days of my life. The miracle of birth is amazing. Katrina was at the birth of my Kloe, and I am beyond honored she has asked me to be there!
I am going to write more often. Writing about my days make me breathe easier. I hope you all will follow me as I continue to share my life's journey.
Much Love,
Shelby
My boys are growing and thriving. Kade is doing great in the 3rd grade and getting ready for the science fair. Blake is loving the 1st grade and becoming a very good reader :) Then there is Colt! My 5 year old who has so much personality:) He is quite the comedian. This past year has been very busy and fun! I am so looking forward to summer vacation.
Larry and I celebrated our 14th anniversary this year. We went to a wonderful resort outside of Traverse City, Mi. It was quiet, quaint and just what we needed to reconnect. It is amazing how this weekend together really brings us back to the beginning and refreshes us for the upcoming year. We have made our anniversary a priority for 14 years now and I truly believe it is one of the reasons we still are in love after all these years. Time alone is so important...
This year sadness has made its way in also! My grandmother's health is failing and she is not doing well at all. She has always been a very vibrant lady. Walking her dog and running to the local casino for quarters, but that has all ended. She had to give her dog away and she is now living in the Long Term Care in our hospital. This is so hard to watch. It also amazes me at how taking care of an elderly person is not something anyone wants to do. It surprised me just how many other members of the family have let the responsibility fall on just a few. Now, I understand many live away and that is not what I am referring to...but we have many capable members in town who can't seem to even visit or call. Makes me so sad. I really don't know how much time I have left with my grandmother, but I know I plan on making it count!
This past year, I have also met some wonderful people. I met my friend, Ali. She really changed my life. She is one of those friends that you can't imagine not having and I often wonder what I did without her. Sadly, she has moved to Arkansas with her family for her husbands job. But we still have a very deep bond that is indescribable. I also have met a wonderful girl named Kristie. What an amazing person she is. I feel so blessed to have met her at a time when I was so lonely. These two women really have changed my life in the last year. Thank you to both of you for making my days shorter and for making me smile everyday!
More good news!!! Baby's, baby's, baby's everywhere! But not me!! My baby sister is having a baby girl in May! I am so excited! She sends me pictures daily of her belly. She also calls me with questions, which I feel so honored she comes to me. I can't wait to hold this little bundle. Also, one of my very best friends, Katrina is over-due to have her baby! This is so exciting for me. She has invited me to the birth. I have been present at one of her daughters birth about 4 years ago, and it was one of the most memorable days of my life. The miracle of birth is amazing. Katrina was at the birth of my Kloe, and I am beyond honored she has asked me to be there!
I am going to write more often. Writing about my days make me breathe easier. I hope you all will follow me as I continue to share my life's journey.
Much Love,
Shelby
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