About 3 months ago, I had parent teacher conferences at my son's school. It happened to be the night the new Zumba class was going on. I peaked inside and was amazed at two things: the amazing energy and ability of the instructor, and how the class was one sweaty mess but yet they were totally enjoying themselves. As I watched in the window, the instructors Mom happened to be outside. I asked her where her daughter got the energy. She said "She had no idea, but she loves doing it." As I waited for my conference to begin, I just stood and watched. My first thought was that I am NEVER going to do this. It is wild, crazy, and it looked hard. One of my friends kept turning around while she was exercising and we would laugh. I thought she was crazy for even being in there. Even after class was over, I teased her about it for a long time. I could not understand why someone wanted to do something like this.
I decided to sign up for a yoga class. This was more my speed. So on Monday nights, I would adorn my yoga pants and head to the gym. Well, after yoga a Zumba class was starting. There were a TON of people filing into the gym all dying to get inside for the class. It amazed me how this one, tiny girl, who was the instructor, affected so many lives. As I was leaving, one of my friends said to me "You staying?" I laughed..."Umm, no."
I started talking to the instructor, Kristy, about the class. She was opening her own fitness center in our little hometown. I noticed people who were more fit and less fit than me, filling up her classes. So, why could I not do it? Kristy motivated me to try. This is something completely out of my comfort zone. While I took dance lessons until high school, this type of "dance" was something I had never even seen before. I facebooked Kristy and told her I was starting Monday.
My other friend, Kristie, also was motivated to join. We both started walking and we changed our diet. At the first class, I could not believe how full it was. It was unreal. She had motivated all these people to put fitness in their lives. I was so nervous, but I have to tell you...I was so much fun! I left a sweaty mess and I hurt the next day, but man, I felt great!
My friend Kristie and I have decided to start boot-camp. This is something very challenging but very rewarding. KC Fitness offers the class once a month for 2 times a week for 4 weeks. It is intense, it is hard, it is overwhelming, but it is a goal I have set for myself. I also want to tell you that last night I had set a goal for myself too. KC Fitness was offering a TRIPLE class event. 1/2 hour of abs, 1 hour of Body Pump, and 1 hour of Zumba/Cardio Jam. Guess what? I DID IT! Many times I wanted to give up, and many times I made up my own moves, but gosh darn it....I DID IT!!!
We live in a very small community and I am amazed at what Kristy and KC Fitness has done for our community. She is an idol to many, including me. She is a mom, has a job for the township, and runs KC Fitness. Many people from all area's around here have joined her in getting fit. It is amazing what one person can do for a community.
As I sit here, aching from head to toe, I am so proud of myself. I am eating right and I am exercising. I have committed myself to get into the best shape of my life. Who said a mom of 4 had to be frumpy? Not this girl! I hope you all share this journey with me, and maybe commit to fitness in your life! Come check out KC Fitness and I promise you, you will NEVER look back!
Inspired by one to make a life change,
Shelby
Friday, May 18, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Am I Mom Enough?
Yes, I am Mom Enough, to breastfeed the first year of life. Yes, I am Mom Enough, to be a Stay at Home Mom of 4. Yes, I am Mom Enough, to balance my kids social life, academic life and extra curricular activities...but am I Mom Enough to breastfeed my preschool aged child? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
My first born, Kade, was not breastfed. I was living in Ohio and no one in my family had ever nursed a baby. I remember talking to my grandmother who lived in Michigan. She would continuously ask me if I was going to nurse this new baby. As a first time parent, I had no idea what to expect or what the right thing to do was. My husband did not care either way. So, it was up to me. I literally had no support, no one to give me information, no one to cheer me on. So, I listened to all the uninformed people in my life and I did not breastfeed Kade.
This is by far my biggest regret in life. Why? Because I feel guilty. I feel like I had the tools to give him the "absolute best start" at life, and I dropped the ball. I remember being so miserable with Kade. He cried all the time. We had to switch formula's to many times to count because he was screaming all the time. I listened to family members that said..."Put him on Soy" and "Try the gentle formula." We did all of these and non of it mattered. He would projectile vomit across the room and he would scream for hours. I would sit up at night and cry because I could not find the formula to settle his tummy. I was sleep deprived and miserable. It was not until my friend, Lynde, gave me some samples of Similac that my beautiful baby emerged. Just plain ol Similac. Non of the fancy stuff...Just Similac!
The guilt I have is: I had the tools that would of prevented all of this. I had the tools to start Kade's life without any tummy problems, but I have to remember that I was uniformed, young, and easily swayed by members of my family.
Now this is the funny thing. My second son, Blake, was born 10 weeks early. My water just broke in the middle of the night. Larry and I rushed to Petoskey but my labor could not be stopped. Right after he was born, my sister, who is very uniformed and against breastfeeding, said to me "Your going to breastfeed him, right?" Well, I had already made the decision to breastfeed. I could of cared less what they said, but I found my sisters statement interesting. Why was Kade not "valuable enough?" Why did it matter that Blake was premature and because of that, he gets "the best possible start?" I have never been able to figure this out. All of a sudden I had a group of people wanting me to nurse and supporting me like never before. How unfair was this? Just because Blake was "sick" he deserved to be nursed...but my healthy boy, Kade, only deserved formula.
I learned a valuable lesson that day: Always follow your instincts when parenting, and never let anyone sway you. I taught myself the ins and outs of nursing. I bought a book and I asked for help. I was now a nursing mother and I loved every second of it. It was hard at first. It was hard for my family to watch. They were so uncomfortable, but I did not care. I pumped for Blake until I couldn't pump anymore. For 6 weeks in the NICU, I worked hard at "nursing" him back to health, and that was exactly what happened. He came home 4 weeks before his due date, and when he was home I continued to nurse him around the clock.
I remember sitting at my mom's house and she was so uncomfortable. She hated every minute I nursed. She would pull the blanket up just so nothing would show. I could clear a room like never before. My cousin was so uncomfortable she laughed and left all together. Why was this so wrong? Why could non of them handle it? And why did they say that they would of done the same thing...IF they had a preemie? I guess full term baby's do not deserve the same. I guess they are "healthy" enough for formula, while my Blake was to frail for it. Makes me sick to think about it.
I nursed Blake his entire first year of life. I pumped and nursed and pumped and nursed. I pumped and nursed till I had nothing left to pump or nurse. It was by far the greatest accomplishment of my life; nursing a baby to complete health. He was so healthy which was astonishing from how his life began. During this whole process, I grew to love nursing. The bond I felt with Blake was unreal. If someone thinks this bond is not important, just tell that to a nursing mom. It is something I can't describe. Not only was the bond incredible, but my nights were so much easier. I could just put Blake in bed with me, nurse and fall asleep. I would then wake up and nurse him on the other side, and then fall asleep. I then would put him in his crib. I was NOT sleep deprived. I was much happier and my baby was very content.
When I got pregnant with Colt, I knew I would nurse. I threw all my bottles away. I even threw my pump away. My passion for nursing became stronger. I have a friend, Katrina, who inspired me to not give up. When I had any questions I would call her. One time, Colt quit nursing altogether. I went over to her house and she went right to work getting him latched on. Without her support, I wonder if I would of made it. It is so important to have a support system. Even though, non of these members were in my family, I had Trina and I appreciated all she ever did for me.
Kloe came next and my baby girl never had a bottle to her mouth. I am the most proud of this. I nursed her till she was 14 months old. She loved it and I loved it. We were so close. My dear friend, Danielle, also commented on she could visibly see the bond between us.
This blog post originally started in response to the time magazine headline about being "Mom Enough" but as you can see, I have digressed into the importance the first year of nursing was to me. I understand it is not for everyone, and while I am "Mom Enough" to nurse for the first year, that is where it ends for me. Why this mother chose to put her son's face on a magazine is beyond me, but I am so glad she did what she wanted to do, and was not swayed to NOT nurse...like I was so many years ago.
It is amazing to me, how people are so concerned with the choices of others, and myself included. Last week my baby sister had a baby. It nearly killed me that she was bottle feeding. I mentioned twice to her that I could help her, but Savannah is her baby and she will grow and develop to be a healthy, beautiful little girl. I will not push, and I will not try to sway her. What works for one family, does not work for all families. And that is o.k. I am excited to watch Savannah grow. I am excited to be her Aunt.
I would also like to say, while many of my family members are so uncomfortable with me nursing; I really don't care. They are uncomfortable because they are uninformed. They have no right to judge something they have never even tried. So, as I think about that, I think about this Time Cover. I judged this mother at first. I thought she was out of line...but as I have been writing this blog, I realized I am doing just what my family members did to me. So, am I "Mom Enough" to nurse a preschooler, no...but I am sure "Mom Enough" to do what I think is best? Absolutely! And I am also "Mom Enough" to say I don't care what you think, this is my baby! Do what YOU want with yours and leave my decisions.....ALONE!
"Mom Enough" in Pickford,
Shelby
Friday, May 11, 2012
There is only ONE of me....
Oh my goodness! You ever feel like you are being pulled so thin that you are going in 15 directions? There are days where I don't know where I start or where my kids end. My days start and end the same. Mornings are so hectic with getting 2 of my boys off to school. Then there are Kloe's needs and the dogs. Getting kids dressed and fed...man, by 10:30 I am spent and I still have about 10 hours left to my day.
I don't know how many times I have said "There is only one of me...and 5 of you." Who takes care of Mom? Who cares about my needs? The answer is no one! I am solely responsible for everyone's needs, including my own. I am the caregiver, the cook, the cleaner, the organizer (ok, I am not very good at this but I am trying), the scheduler, the chauffeur, the bath giver, the grocery shopper...and the list goes on and on. You all have seen these lists before. Oh, I know, I chose to be a Stay at Home Mom, but when does the madness stop?
Just today, we all had dentist appointments. I realized as I was sitting there, after one of the hygentists had to go into waiting room and clean up the mints that my 18 month old dug out of my purse and spread across the entire floor, and then proceeded to eat them...that I am also solely responsible for their dental hygiene. At what point do these little humans take over? At what point do you let them go and spread their wings? When do I stop and they begin? I am having a hard time figuring this one out.
I know they are young yet, and I don't plan on shoving them out the door tomorrow, but if I don't give them some more responsibility, then they will never be able to take care of themselves. My
fear is my boys will grow up and their wives will be talking amongst themselves, saying "They are such Momma's boys. She did everything for them and they expect me to do the same." I am working on it...I promise. It just seems easier for me to do it myself, but doing it myself is not parenting, and my goal is to be the ultimate parent to my children.
I think what I need to do is relax. I need to enjoy my children while they are little. I don't think it really matters that they left all their blankets on the living room floor, or that they didn't shut the bathroom door or flush the toilet and Kloe stuck her hand in it... ok, that one matters! But, in the long run, what I want is to raise responsible, happy, loving, caring adults, and I think it all starts with a little bit of letting go. I think I need to delegate more and care less about things being perfect. I need to make sure "Mommy" has time so I can enjoy everyday, all day with my children.
So, for the days I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and just plain frustrated...I need to remember that these days do not last forever, and that some day I am going to miss this crazy life. It is hard to believe my first born is almost 10...They are little for such a short time. But for now, I am going to give them the tools they need to spread their wings and fly...because my future Daughter- in- Laws will really appreciate it:)
I don't know how many times I have said "There is only one of me...and 5 of you." Who takes care of Mom? Who cares about my needs? The answer is no one! I am solely responsible for everyone's needs, including my own. I am the caregiver, the cook, the cleaner, the organizer (ok, I am not very good at this but I am trying), the scheduler, the chauffeur, the bath giver, the grocery shopper...and the list goes on and on. You all have seen these lists before. Oh, I know, I chose to be a Stay at Home Mom, but when does the madness stop?
Just today, we all had dentist appointments. I realized as I was sitting there, after one of the hygentists had to go into waiting room and clean up the mints that my 18 month old dug out of my purse and spread across the entire floor, and then proceeded to eat them...that I am also solely responsible for their dental hygiene. At what point do these little humans take over? At what point do you let them go and spread their wings? When do I stop and they begin? I am having a hard time figuring this one out.
I know they are young yet, and I don't plan on shoving them out the door tomorrow, but if I don't give them some more responsibility, then they will never be able to take care of themselves. My
fear is my boys will grow up and their wives will be talking amongst themselves, saying "They are such Momma's boys. She did everything for them and they expect me to do the same." I am working on it...I promise. It just seems easier for me to do it myself, but doing it myself is not parenting, and my goal is to be the ultimate parent to my children.
I think what I need to do is relax. I need to enjoy my children while they are little. I don't think it really matters that they left all their blankets on the living room floor, or that they didn't shut the bathroom door or flush the toilet and Kloe stuck her hand in it... ok, that one matters! But, in the long run, what I want is to raise responsible, happy, loving, caring adults, and I think it all starts with a little bit of letting go. I think I need to delegate more and care less about things being perfect. I need to make sure "Mommy" has time so I can enjoy everyday, all day with my children.
So, for the days I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and just plain frustrated...I need to remember that these days do not last forever, and that some day I am going to miss this crazy life. It is hard to believe my first born is almost 10...They are little for such a short time. But for now, I am going to give them the tools they need to spread their wings and fly...because my future Daughter- in- Laws will really appreciate it:)
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Getting Rid of Old Baggage
So, I have been thinking...Can you truly cut someone out of your life? Can you really act like you have never met a person before? Can you erase your history, like it never happened?
See, I have been cut out of people's lives, and I have cut people out. But, it just does not seem beneficial to me. Is it not easier to confront the situation? Is it not healthier to tell the person they hurt you? It seems to me, that ignoring them, cutting them out, acting like they never cared about you...is the easy way out.
My family has a history of just "ignoring" the person their mad at. Completely, totally, 100 % ignore them ...I think this act is childish and immature. Ignoring someone does not solve the problem, all it does it add resentment. I have a relative who is mad at me for posting on fb about my mothers dress. Well, to be honest, I have about 5 relatives mad. But they are mad because I posted the truth. I posted about wanting my mom's dress back...But I never said anyone's name...So, now I have a whole slew of family members ignoring me. I wonder if the "shoe was on the other foot" how they would feel? I wonder if their mother's heirlooms where thoughtlessly given away, if they would just "let it go?" I am assuming not!
So much has happened. Mean, hateful things. One person pushed my mom down the stairs of my grandmothers house. This same person continued to call my mom a F****** B****. Now, my mom is not innocent in this either. She did go to my grandmothers house and take some things that were hers, but in doing so, she was pushed down stairs, called names and had the police called on her TWICE! This behavior is uncalled for. This behavior is not something I want in my life. But how about we talk about it? How about we put it behind us by being adults? At one point we loved each other, and at one point we called each other family.
One day last week, I walked into my grandmothers hospital room. Sitting in a chair is one of these family members. The air was "ICE". The room was stiff with hatred, and it was very uncomfortable. I tried talking to Nana, but when this person is around, nobody else exists. I had Colt and Kloe with me and they were even ignored. How can you ignore innocent children? What did they ever do to you? I feel so strongly that this behavior only proves one point: That they are the ones with the problem. Not me!
I think kindness is a great way to really throw these immature people for a loop. I mean, come on...I think that giving the a good smile, really shows the who is the mature one. I would love to drop a plate of cookies off to this person. I would love to leave them at her door and just walk away. What would she think when she opened the door? Would she guess they are from the person she is currently ignoring? Every single time I see these people, I am going to spread happiness because maybe someday, they will learn that it is easier to love than hate.
I think this behavior adds so much anxiety and un-needed stress. I often wonder about how much hatred is inside of these family members? How everyday they walk around with this on their shoulders. I personally, do not want to live that way. I enjoy being happy. I enjoy finding things to be happy about. I enjoy making people happy, and I enjoy a good laugh. If I had so much hatred in me, I could not do these things. I would think that letting it go, would be the way to happiness. I would think that they would want to be happy...but then again, I am not them. I can't think that way, because I have chosen not to live my life with that baggage.
For me, the "baggage" is not a person. To me the "baggage" is the ignorance spread by these people. I will continue to teach my children that this type of behavior is no way to live. I will teach them to talk about what is bothering them and teach them the importance of working your problems out. Nothing ever gets solved by acting like the person does not exist. I hope my children know this.
So, to those family members: I hope you can find happiness somewhere. I hope you don't continue to cut people out, because someday, you may need them. Misery is a lonely place to be, and I hope someday you open your heart because you will be so much better off!
Now, I think I will go bake some cookies...
Till Next Time,
Shelby
See, I have been cut out of people's lives, and I have cut people out. But, it just does not seem beneficial to me. Is it not easier to confront the situation? Is it not healthier to tell the person they hurt you? It seems to me, that ignoring them, cutting them out, acting like they never cared about you...is the easy way out.
My family has a history of just "ignoring" the person their mad at. Completely, totally, 100 % ignore them ...I think this act is childish and immature. Ignoring someone does not solve the problem, all it does it add resentment. I have a relative who is mad at me for posting on fb about my mothers dress. Well, to be honest, I have about 5 relatives mad. But they are mad because I posted the truth. I posted about wanting my mom's dress back...But I never said anyone's name...So, now I have a whole slew of family members ignoring me. I wonder if the "shoe was on the other foot" how they would feel? I wonder if their mother's heirlooms where thoughtlessly given away, if they would just "let it go?" I am assuming not!
So much has happened. Mean, hateful things. One person pushed my mom down the stairs of my grandmothers house. This same person continued to call my mom a F****** B****. Now, my mom is not innocent in this either. She did go to my grandmothers house and take some things that were hers, but in doing so, she was pushed down stairs, called names and had the police called on her TWICE! This behavior is uncalled for. This behavior is not something I want in my life. But how about we talk about it? How about we put it behind us by being adults? At one point we loved each other, and at one point we called each other family.
One day last week, I walked into my grandmothers hospital room. Sitting in a chair is one of these family members. The air was "ICE". The room was stiff with hatred, and it was very uncomfortable. I tried talking to Nana, but when this person is around, nobody else exists. I had Colt and Kloe with me and they were even ignored. How can you ignore innocent children? What did they ever do to you? I feel so strongly that this behavior only proves one point: That they are the ones with the problem. Not me!
I think kindness is a great way to really throw these immature people for a loop. I mean, come on...I think that giving the a good smile, really shows the who is the mature one. I would love to drop a plate of cookies off to this person. I would love to leave them at her door and just walk away. What would she think when she opened the door? Would she guess they are from the person she is currently ignoring? Every single time I see these people, I am going to spread happiness because maybe someday, they will learn that it is easier to love than hate.
I think this behavior adds so much anxiety and un-needed stress. I often wonder about how much hatred is inside of these family members? How everyday they walk around with this on their shoulders. I personally, do not want to live that way. I enjoy being happy. I enjoy finding things to be happy about. I enjoy making people happy, and I enjoy a good laugh. If I had so much hatred in me, I could not do these things. I would think that letting it go, would be the way to happiness. I would think that they would want to be happy...but then again, I am not them. I can't think that way, because I have chosen not to live my life with that baggage.
For me, the "baggage" is not a person. To me the "baggage" is the ignorance spread by these people. I will continue to teach my children that this type of behavior is no way to live. I will teach them to talk about what is bothering them and teach them the importance of working your problems out. Nothing ever gets solved by acting like the person does not exist. I hope my children know this.
So, to those family members: I hope you can find happiness somewhere. I hope you don't continue to cut people out, because someday, you may need them. Misery is a lonely place to be, and I hope someday you open your heart because you will be so much better off!
Now, I think I will go bake some cookies...
Till Next Time,
Shelby
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