As I stand in the salad dressing aisle in Walmart, I look up to the top shelf where my Raspberry Vinaigrette is usually housed. I stepped back, and sure enough...there is ONE left! One, tucked way back. One, lingering where I can't reach it. One, waiting to be purchased by a tall person, because, believe me, I sure can't reach it. I look to my right and left, and down the aisle I see a tall man. He is my ONLY option of getting my salad dressing. I walk up to him.."Sir, would you mind helping me get my salad dressing down?" He looked around also, wondering if it was him I was speaking to..."Oh, of course" he states. He walked over, I show him my dressing and he effortlessly reaches way back and grabs the hidden dressing. "Thank you so much" I say to the man. He replies, "You are so welcome." "They sure don't make these available to little girls like yourself." I laugh..."No, they don't" and we part ways...
WAIT! HOLD ON! DID HE JUST CALL ME A LITTLE GIRL???? Should I go after him and tell him that I am a mom of 4? That I am 38? And that I have been married for 15 years??? Naw, he doesn't care..and he obviously knows I am NOT a little girl...So, why say that?
The perception people hold over others can be so hard to understand. Would I ever want to be tall? I have no idea, I mean, I have been short my entire life.. Why do we take what others "perceive" us as to heart? Why does it matter how tall we are, or how short we are? I see advantages to both.
When I was in high school, I was a cheerleader. I hated sports that all the athletic girls would play. Plus, my grandmother would say, "Your to short to be a basketball player." How did she know that I was not the "best player my age?" She assumed since I was short, that I would not make a good basketball player. Maybe she was right. That I will never know, but I lived under the "perception" that I wouldn't, so I never even tried.
Recently, Kade came to me and said, "Mom, I am the 3rd oldest in my class, and the 3rd shortest." The look of sadness on his face was unbearable. I have been there...I, too, was in the same position as him in school, and we all know how "nice" kids can be! I told Kade that he is "perfect the way he is. That God made him that tall and there is nothing we can do about it. You are given the genes you have and wishing you were another way, is a wasted wish." I realize this is hard for a 10 year old to understand, but he does not have tall parents. So, how do you teach a 10 year old something that has taken me 38 years to understand?
So, I begin by telling him some of the advantages of being short. 1. When we fall, we don't have as far to go to hit the ground. 2. We never have to worry about our pants being to short. 3. We never have to worry about a couch not being long enough for us to stretch our legs out. 4. We can jump higher on a trampoline (at least it looks like we do). 5. We don't have to duck for low ceilings. 6. We don't have to purchase those platforms to put our front loader washer and dryer's on. 7. We don't have to bend over as far when getting something from the floor or a lower cabinet...8. We become creative in ways to get things down from high up. 9. Our feet are usually smaller. 10. We don't have to dust top shelves because we can't reach them OR see the dust lingering up there!"
Kade looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "Right now it these things don't matter to you, but believe me, they will." "But, Mom, the kids in my class make fun of me all the time." I respond, with a broken heart, "Kade, we can't change what we are given. We can't wish we were someone else because you are wasting your time. You are beautiful the way God made you, and if you were taller, you would not be Kade." I know this is hard for a 10 year old to grasp, but he will. See, what he lacks in height, he makes up in strength. I say, "Kade, you are the strongest boy I know. You are a fast runner, you are built strong! These kids in your class know this, so they pick on you for being short because that is the only things they have to use against you. They are jealous."
"Don't waste your life worrying about what others "think" of you...bask in the glory of being strong, athletic, and fast!"
Teaching your kids to love themselves is so hard. I spend all day building him up so he can go to school and be knocked down. It is such a cruel world. But we can't shelter them forever. At some point they have to learn what the world is like. I truly believe, that if you love yourself first, the rest is pointless. I am trying to give them a strong foundation and strong self-worth, so no one can knock the down...
Tall, short, chubby, skinny, acne, no acne....we are not perfect. We are who we are...and as long as we treat people with respect, love, and have empathy, we are on the right track. So, as I type this, I am getting ready to head to Walmart again. I will welcome the close to empty shelves, I will not be shy to ask for assistance. I mean, not everyone gets to climb the shelves of Walmart and balance to grab the toilet paper! And I will continue to do so because, nowhere in the near future will I grow to be anything above 5' 2", and that is on a good day....IN HEALS!
Loving my short self!
Shelby
Friday, March 15, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
It is JUST a NUMBER!
As I go to step on the scale, I take a step back. Why am I doing this? Why does it matter what it says? Why do people put so much emphasis on what the scale says? It is not a reflection of your heart, it is not a reflection of your likes and dislikes. It is just a number that I put way to much stock in.
Recently, I had to write 3 goals down for myself. Two of them had to do with running, and the third was I wanted to weigh 125! Why? Really? What a stupid goal I set for myself. Sure, I could easily get down to 125, but will prove me to be healthy and happy? Absolutely NOT! It is just a number, a number that will not define me, a number that will have no control of me as a person, and a number that will never have control over me.
I feel this way about age also. I recently turned 38! I know!! I have to put a little hair die in my hair occasionally, and I noticed around my mouth getting a little saggy! But other than that...I feel like I am in my twenties. I could get down on myself really fast thinking that I am closer to 40 than 30...but I refuse to do that. I remember thinking when I was younger, that 40 was so far away...and now that it is getting closer, I am ready to embrace it. With all the new changes I have made in my life...my goal for 40 is to be even healthier than I am today.
I understand that the number on the scale can benefit many...I mean, you set goals according to that number. But, I think the emphasis should be the amount you lost...not how much you still need to go. I recently was talking with a friend. She has started her journey to getting healthy. As we were talking, she was so excited about her weight loss. I said "how much have you lost?" she said "ONLY 17lbs." as if it was not that much. I said ONLY 17LBS??? that is fantastic!!! I said "NEVER cut down your accomplishment...I am so proud of you"...but what I loved about our conversation, was she has dropped 3 or 4 pants sizes and the excitement in her voice was worth so much more than how far she still has to go. Which by the way, I saw her and she looks wonderful! And she can hold her own running against a girl that has been training for months to run a half marathon. I think that counts for so much! Her weight on the scale means nothing...if you really think about it :)
I wish I could take back those goals I wrote for myself for the New Year. I would not have down that I wish to weigh 125. I would put down, that I want to be strong, I want to be fast, and I want to be healthy. I am at the point that I don't care what it says...I actually do not even own a scale, I am guilty of stepping on my fitness instructors scale at least once a week! I notice that I feel depressed when I am up a pound or two, and I just need to STOP! I could be up from my training for the half, I could be up because I am a girl, and lets face it...we fluctuate in our weight at least once a month! I could be up from gaining muscle. There are SO many factors as to what that scale reads, but it is amazing how down on ourselves we can be. I am also done thinking about me getting "old" lets face it, there is nothing we can do about that number either. We are only as old as we feel, and I feel way younger than 38!
NO MORE! It will kill me, but I am here to say, I am done with the scale and worrying about getting old. As long as I am eating right, working out, and running, that scale and my age can say/be whatever it wants. It will NOT define me...It will NOT control my life...after all...IT IS JUST A NUMBER.
Till next time...
Shelby
Recently, I had to write 3 goals down for myself. Two of them had to do with running, and the third was I wanted to weigh 125! Why? Really? What a stupid goal I set for myself. Sure, I could easily get down to 125, but will prove me to be healthy and happy? Absolutely NOT! It is just a number, a number that will not define me, a number that will have no control of me as a person, and a number that will never have control over me.
I feel this way about age also. I recently turned 38! I know!! I have to put a little hair die in my hair occasionally, and I noticed around my mouth getting a little saggy! But other than that...I feel like I am in my twenties. I could get down on myself really fast thinking that I am closer to 40 than 30...but I refuse to do that. I remember thinking when I was younger, that 40 was so far away...and now that it is getting closer, I am ready to embrace it. With all the new changes I have made in my life...my goal for 40 is to be even healthier than I am today.
I understand that the number on the scale can benefit many...I mean, you set goals according to that number. But, I think the emphasis should be the amount you lost...not how much you still need to go. I recently was talking with a friend. She has started her journey to getting healthy. As we were talking, she was so excited about her weight loss. I said "how much have you lost?" she said "ONLY 17lbs." as if it was not that much. I said ONLY 17LBS??? that is fantastic!!! I said "NEVER cut down your accomplishment...I am so proud of you"...but what I loved about our conversation, was she has dropped 3 or 4 pants sizes and the excitement in her voice was worth so much more than how far she still has to go. Which by the way, I saw her and she looks wonderful! And she can hold her own running against a girl that has been training for months to run a half marathon. I think that counts for so much! Her weight on the scale means nothing...if you really think about it :)
I wish I could take back those goals I wrote for myself for the New Year. I would not have down that I wish to weigh 125. I would put down, that I want to be strong, I want to be fast, and I want to be healthy. I am at the point that I don't care what it says...I actually do not even own a scale, I am guilty of stepping on my fitness instructors scale at least once a week! I notice that I feel depressed when I am up a pound or two, and I just need to STOP! I could be up from my training for the half, I could be up because I am a girl, and lets face it...we fluctuate in our weight at least once a month! I could be up from gaining muscle. There are SO many factors as to what that scale reads, but it is amazing how down on ourselves we can be. I am also done thinking about me getting "old" lets face it, there is nothing we can do about that number either. We are only as old as we feel, and I feel way younger than 38!
NO MORE! It will kill me, but I am here to say, I am done with the scale and worrying about getting old. As long as I am eating right, working out, and running, that scale and my age can say/be whatever it wants. It will NOT define me...It will NOT control my life...after all...IT IS JUST A NUMBER.
Till next time...
Shelby
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)