As I stand in the salad dressing aisle in Walmart, I look up to the top shelf where my Raspberry Vinaigrette is usually housed. I stepped back, and sure enough...there is ONE left! One, tucked way back. One, lingering where I can't reach it. One, waiting to be purchased by a tall person, because, believe me, I sure can't reach it. I look to my right and left, and down the aisle I see a tall man. He is my ONLY option of getting my salad dressing. I walk up to him.."Sir, would you mind helping me get my salad dressing down?" He looked around also, wondering if it was him I was speaking to..."Oh, of course" he states. He walked over, I show him my dressing and he effortlessly reaches way back and grabs the hidden dressing. "Thank you so much" I say to the man. He replies, "You are so welcome." "They sure don't make these available to little girls like yourself." I laugh..."No, they don't" and we part ways...
WAIT! HOLD ON! DID HE JUST CALL ME A LITTLE GIRL???? Should I go after him and tell him that I am a mom of 4? That I am 38? And that I have been married for 15 years??? Naw, he doesn't care..and he obviously knows I am NOT a little girl...So, why say that?
The perception people hold over others can be so hard to understand. Would I ever want to be tall? I have no idea, I mean, I have been short my entire life.. Why do we take what others "perceive" us as to heart? Why does it matter how tall we are, or how short we are? I see advantages to both.
When I was in high school, I was a cheerleader. I hated sports that all the athletic girls would play. Plus, my grandmother would say, "Your to short to be a basketball player." How did she know that I was not the "best player my age?" She assumed since I was short, that I would not make a good basketball player. Maybe she was right. That I will never know, but I lived under the "perception" that I wouldn't, so I never even tried.
Recently, Kade came to me and said, "Mom, I am the 3rd oldest in my class, and the 3rd shortest." The look of sadness on his face was unbearable. I have been there...I, too, was in the same position as him in school, and we all know how "nice" kids can be! I told Kade that he is "perfect the way he is. That God made him that tall and there is nothing we can do about it. You are given the genes you have and wishing you were another way, is a wasted wish." I realize this is hard for a 10 year old to understand, but he does not have tall parents. So, how do you teach a 10 year old something that has taken me 38 years to understand?
So, I begin by telling him some of the advantages of being short. 1. When we fall, we don't have as far to go to hit the ground. 2. We never have to worry about our pants being to short. 3. We never have to worry about a couch not being long enough for us to stretch our legs out. 4. We can jump higher on a trampoline (at least it looks like we do). 5. We don't have to duck for low ceilings. 6. We don't have to purchase those platforms to put our front loader washer and dryer's on. 7. We don't have to bend over as far when getting something from the floor or a lower cabinet...8. We become creative in ways to get things down from high up. 9. Our feet are usually smaller. 10. We don't have to dust top shelves because we can't reach them OR see the dust lingering up there!"
Kade looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "Right now it these things don't matter to you, but believe me, they will." "But, Mom, the kids in my class make fun of me all the time." I respond, with a broken heart, "Kade, we can't change what we are given. We can't wish we were someone else because you are wasting your time. You are beautiful the way God made you, and if you were taller, you would not be Kade." I know this is hard for a 10 year old to grasp, but he will. See, what he lacks in height, he makes up in strength. I say, "Kade, you are the strongest boy I know. You are a fast runner, you are built strong! These kids in your class know this, so they pick on you for being short because that is the only things they have to use against you. They are jealous."
"Don't waste your life worrying about what others "think" of you...bask in the glory of being strong, athletic, and fast!"
Teaching your kids to love themselves is so hard. I spend all day building him up so he can go to school and be knocked down. It is such a cruel world. But we can't shelter them forever. At some point they have to learn what the world is like. I truly believe, that if you love yourself first, the rest is pointless. I am trying to give them a strong foundation and strong self-worth, so no one can knock the down...
Tall, short, chubby, skinny, acne, no acne....we are not perfect. We are who we are...and as long as we treat people with respect, love, and have empathy, we are on the right track. So, as I type this, I am getting ready to head to Walmart again. I will welcome the close to empty shelves, I will not be shy to ask for assistance. I mean, not everyone gets to climb the shelves of Walmart and balance to grab the toilet paper! And I will continue to do so because, nowhere in the near future will I grow to be anything above 5' 2", and that is on a good day....IN HEALS!
Loving my short self!
Shelby
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