The day where the kids get up excited to go to school. The day they throw on their clothes, excited to look all dapper and put together! RIGHT! I wish! Picture Day is my least favorite day of the school year. It takes planning, coordinating, and skill to pull off a successful picture day!
See picture day does not actually start on the day assigned at school. It starts in the summer. It starts as I am school shopping online, weeding through the many different websites online. Looking for the "PERFECT" coordinating shirts and jeans for my boys. I mean, this picture is momentous, it is the picture that will be in the year book. And lets face it, how many of us have flipped back through an old yearbook and laughed at what we were wearing and how our hair was styled? I have to pick out the perfect shirt that will not embarrass my boys in the years to come!
As I am flipping through the websites, I am thinking about the backgrounds the picture company offers, I am thinking about how the shirt will match my paint color on the wall...I know, it is crazy, but this picture is the one that the family members will receive and be framed and looked at for a whole year!
This year, I found the perfect shirts at JCPenny's. Blue, plaid, cowboy shirts. Kade and Blake's are identical, while Colt's is just "off" in color by a smidgen. This also bothers me because its not exactly the same! But I purchase them anyway. The boys love them...Larry loves them...Mission complete. So, before school has even started, I know exactly what they are going to wear for shirts. Now what about pants? Jeans of course...dark jeans, that also match exactly!
The night before picture day, I get my iron out and go to town. Not one wrinkle will be present! Their jeans crisp and never worn, and their socks are stark white (and you don't even see their socks). I set everything out ready for the "big" day!
I wake the boys the morning of the "big" day. "Boys get up! It's PICTURE DAY" Now, lets face it, this means NOTHING to them. They don't care what they are wearing, how their hair is styled, or if their socks are white. They only care that they have a pair of socks to wear. Heck, why not wear the ones from yesterday?
So, Colt is the first to bolt out of bed. Now, Colt has OCD when it comes to clothes. EVERYTHING has to be tight fitting, not one piece of clothing can be big. He rolls his pant up 3-4 times so they won't get dirty, and it has to be the same size as his age. I knew that having him wear what I picked out, was not going to go well. So, I said "Colt, you MUST wear this today without any complaint." "One day for Mom." Suprisingly, he does not put up a fight. But that was not the case with Kade.
Kade is in 5th grade. He was MORTIFIED that he had to wear the same clothes as his brothers. He said, "that is so NOT cool, Mom." "I am sorry Kade, but it is only ONE day." "Mom, you don't have to be in the hall and pass your brother who is in 1st grade and dressed EXACTLY like you. It is embarrassing." I said, "I am sorry, but again, it is one day." As we continued our prep for the big event, I style their hair perfectly, tuck their shirts into their pants, and make sure their school shoes are sparkly clean. I sent them out the door with their envelopes (which contain a small fortune) and with instructions to not move a hair on their heads, and to smile their "best smiles!"
Phew, I have done my job, now I have to trust the boys and the photographer to make sure everything is just how I want it, and they will come home in a few weeks with their "perfect" pictures!
Wait! Why have I just tortured myself and the boys? Why does everything have to so scripted? After they left, it hit me. Do I really want the absolute "perfect" picture for my wall? Do I want them to portray something they actually are NOT? NO, I don't! My boys are not statues that smile with perfection every time. My boys each have their own personalities that actually will not be shown in the picture. So, what good is that? I wish I would of given this part of picture day some thought!
I take a step back and realize I have fallen into the trap of Picture Day. I have spent a large sum of money so perfection can adorn my wall, but in real life, I do not expect perfection from them. I wish I would of thought of that before. I would have prepared for this day differently than I did. I would of let Kade pick out his own shirt. He would of picked out an orange shirt, which is his favorite color. Probably something with sports on it. He would of let me brush his hair, but not put gel in it because gel makes his hair stiff and he hates that. He would of posed with his arms across his chest, not in his pockets like I requested. Blake would picked out a red shirt, because that is his favorite color, and it would of been a solid red shirt with no designs on it at all. He would of still let me spike his hair, but not put as much hairspray in it. He would have tender, caring and loving eyes, which fits his personality perfectly! And then there is Colt, he would of picked out a superhero shirt, because lets face it, he thinks he is one! He would of put on a pair of jeans from last year that were tailored perfectly to body and rolled just right at the legs! He would of given me a picture with a HUGE grin that he usually has, and his personality would have beamed through the portrait.
What was I thinking? What is the point of perfection when it does not reflect who they really are? Isn't that the point of the picture? To remember who they are at that moment in their lives? On a normal day, I would never send them in matching shirts and jeans. On a normal day, I would not iron their clothes until no wrinkles were present. On a normal day, I would make sure they were clean, happy, and ready to have a great school day, because really, a "NORMAL" day is all that matters.
While it is nice to have beautiful pictures on the wall, what I truly want is happy children. What I want is their pictures to reflect their lives now, and what they feel and care about. I want sparkle in their eyes and fire in their hearts. I want their pictures to reflect them as an "INDIVIDUAL" not "IDENTICAL." I want to look back and say, "Remember when you picked out that ugly orange shirt for picture day?" Or "Remember when you got a black eye two days before picture day." Because THIS is life. This is the life of boys! They are not perfect. They are not scripted. They are individuals with styles and feelings of their own. Why had I not considered this before, because truly, aren't those the moments I want to remember? The moments that reflect their lives and hearts. Moments that define them as an individual. Moments that make them who they are, and what they believe and feel at that time.
Next year will be different. Next year it will be fun! Next year, they can wear whatever makes them happy! Next year, picture day will be like ANY other day! Next year, their clothes won't match, the background won't matter, and their pose can be all their own...because that is who my boys are...That is how I want them to be...and individual...a boy I love with all my heart...A boy who is happy!
A Mommy who learned a huge lesson,
Shelby <3
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