Friendship

 Friendship for me is a necessity.  I have made and kept some wonderful friends through my life, and I have also lost friends too.  A wise person once told me that "When you are older, it is hard to make new friends, so you should do everything you can to keep the ones you have."  I try very hard to live by this, but apparently sometimes I have not.  Losing a friend is devastating, especially when you have no idea why.

I have this one friend, Pam, who has been a staple in my life since the very beginning of 9th grade.  We were in the girls locker room after gym class, and she had this horrible smelling perfume (but at the time, we loved it) and our friendship began just like that.

We have been though just about everything you can imagine.  The hours we spent together in high school, were some of the best days of my life.  Many of my "firsts" were with Pam.  For example, we decided we were going to start smoking.  Pam had just turned 18 and she wanted to go into a gas station and buy a pack of cigarettes.  She wanted to see if she would get carded.  She came out all angry and said "The stupid guy did not even card me.  Now what are we going to with these?"  Well, we decided to smoke the.  Now, neither one of us had ever done it before.  So we were going to be cool, and become smokers.  We lit up and hit Ashmun Street for our usual "Slashing Ash" evening.  So, about a week later, Pammy said to me (as we were smoking our still 1 pack of cigarettes) "Do you like this?"  I said "no, not really."  "Do you?"  and she said "No!"  That was the last time either of us ever smoked.  We had not even finished the one and only pack we had bought.  Our days as smokers was behind us.

High school sucks, and it would have been even worse for me if I had not had Pammy.  I think of all the phone calls, sleep overs, nights out,  baking crazy things, her amazing dog, and her amazing family, and it made that time so much better for me.  They were my second family.  The one friend I had that I could always count on.  The one person who made me laugh, and the smartest girl I knew...I was so lucky to have Pammy in my life...

After college, I went to PA, and Pammy did some schooling in Mexico.  I remember thinking "what I am I going to do without her being in the Soo?"  Even though I was not there, it was comforting to know that Pammy was.  Once she was done with Mexico, she moved to Colorado.  Where she is today.  We still are as close as ever.  Our lives have paralleled each other.  I got married, and she got married, I had 3 boys, she had 3 boys.  Even things that happen with our boys are so very similar.  I wish we lived closer to each other so our children could grow up together.  But, when she comes home, the boys play, and Pammy and I sit, talk and laugh.

I really do not think anyone knows me like she does.  I have been truly blessed to have her in my life.  She is one of those friends that no matter what happened to me, I know I could count on her.  I love our phone calls as we talk about our family's.  I love that she calls me to ask me advice about the boys.  I feel honored that she trusts my parenting skills, and honored that after so many years, she is my friend....Thank you, Pammy!

There are a couple of other friends that have really made an impact on me.  One being my friend Katrina.  Katrina has been someone I can lean on and ask for help and parenting advice and she has never steered me wrong.  What I have learned from Trina is the importance of nursing a baby.  Before I had her as a friend, I was alone in the breastfeeding world.  Nobody in my family had nursed a baby before.  When I had Blake premature, Trina helped and guided me through the whole process.  She ignited my passion for breastfeeding.  She taught me the value of following your heart and not to listen to the negative comments my family was giving me.  I truly have learned so much from her.  She is wise in her 27 years.  We have spent hours on the phone swapping stories on raising chidlren, breastfeeding, parenting a preemie, natural childbirth.  The list could go on and on.

When I got pregnant with Kloe, early on I had asked Trina to please try to be present.  See, she is such a cheerleader.  She knows questions to ask the doctors, when my head is not in the game.  She is a childbirth expert (in my opinion).  Even though, I had been there 3 other times, I had visioned a "perfect" birth and I knew Trina could help make that possible.  When I went into labor, Trina packed up her kids and took them to her in-laws.  She packed up her youngest daughter and husband and drove to Petoskey to be with me.  For any of you who really know Larry, he is USELESS in the delivery room.  He hates blood and anything to do with it.  I knew that Trina would be way more valuable than Larry.  So, she was kind enough to up root her family for the night.

She never left my side.  At one point we were walking the halls and we could not find Larry.  We walked into the waiting room, and there he was sound asleep!  I looked at Trina and I could have slit his throat, but we both just laughed.  I woke him up and said "What are you doing?" he said "sleeping" and I told him to get his butt back to my room!  What the heck?  Trina and I laughed, and I told her "I told you he was going to be no help!"

If I would have asked her to rub my back for 3 hours straight, she would have!  She was so wonderful.  The whole experience was amazing because she knew what I wanted and she made sure I got it.  When the horrible pain of labor began, she was right at my side talking me through it.  By this time, she had been up for more than 24 hours and not once did she complain.  She was there when our gift came in the world, and I wish I could let her know how valuable she is to me.  And how I truly love her and our friendship!

The last friend I want to share with you is my friend Danielle.  Danielle and I met two years ago when she had Bichon's for sale.  My Mom was purchasing one from her and I went to look at them.  I remember sitting across from her and we had so much to talk about because of our love of Bichon's.  Our friendship was instant. Danielle, is someone I love to be around.  She makes me smile.  She is the best dog owner I know.

Danielle gave me something that I did not know my family needed, and that was Kooper.  Kooper is my almost 2 year old Bichon.  See, when I went to visit with my mom that first time, I was so proud of myself; I left without purchasing a dog.  The second time I went, I was not so lucky.  What happened was, Kooper was to go to Danielle's daughter Chelsea.  Chelsea changed her mind and Danielle had bonded with Kooper.  So, standing over the sink, watching Danielle cry because she was going to have to part with Kooper was to much for me to handle.  I said, "I think I would like him" and Danielle was so happy that he was going to still be part of her life.  Now, I was a little hesitant because I have Bella, who at the time was 8.  I was afraid that Bella would be upset at the new addition.  But I have to say, Kooper gave Bella her life back.  And for that, I can never thank Danielle enough!  Plus, Danielle spoils Kooper like crazy...he loves his Grandma Danielle!

My kids LOVE Danielle.  From the very beginning, Danielle was so interested in my children.  They love
going to her house and they love spending time with her.  Recently, she has been coming to our house every Monday to have dinner with us, and to help the boys with their homework and bedtime.  It has been so wonderful to have her around and the boys just love Mondays.  Sometimes it gets a little crazy because they want her attention, but I will tell you what...Mondays are my favorite day of the week now!

I do want to share a funny story with you.  You see, Danielle has taught me many things.  One of those being, how to properly decorate a cake.  She does amazing cakes!  So for my boys birthdays, I have taken to making them.  Now, for those of you who really know me, I am not the cleanest baker in the world.  I have tried but my kitchen always looks like a bomb went off.  Well, Danielle is a very clean baker.  She is shocked at what I can do to her kitchen in ten minutes flat! Flour will be all over, powder sugar flying through the air, and Danielle's face is nothing but pure shock.  I love those moments!  Because even though I have single handedly destroyed her kitchen, she still keeps wanting to bake with me...We do quite a bit of baking together and it is one of my favorite parts of our friendship!

One thing I have to say about Danielle is, she is the most caring, unselfish, loving friend.  She would give me the shirt off of her back if need be.  I have never met anyone and bonded so quickly as I did with Danielle.  Our friendship came naturally, and she truly has been a blessing to me and my children.

These 3 people who I have highlighted today are just a few of the many wonderful friends I have been so fortunate enough to have made.  I will be talking about many others over the course of my blog.  Each of my wonderful friends I have in my life have all impacted me in different ways.  Friendship is a so important for me and I love each of my friends for the different, unique, and wonderful things they have taught me.  So, thank you Pammy for being my longest and best friend, our friendship is endless.  Thank you Katrina for being the wonderful teacher, doula, and care giver you are.  And Thank you Danielle for being the amazing listener, dog breeder, and the amazing Grandmother you are to my children.  All 3 of you have made me who I am today!