So, I have been thinking...Can you truly cut someone out of your life? Can you really act like you have never met a person before? Can you erase your history, like it never happened?
See, I have been cut out of people's lives, and I have cut people out. But, it just does not seem beneficial to me. Is it not easier to confront the situation? Is it not healthier to tell the person they hurt you? It seems to me, that ignoring them, cutting them out, acting like they never cared about you...is the easy way out.
My family has a history of just "ignoring" the person their mad at. Completely, totally, 100 % ignore them ...I think this act is childish and immature. Ignoring someone does not solve the problem, all it does it add resentment. I have a relative who is mad at me for posting on fb about my mothers dress. Well, to be honest, I have about 5 relatives mad. But they are mad because I posted the truth. I posted about wanting my mom's dress back...But I never said anyone's name...So, now I have a whole slew of family members ignoring me. I wonder if the "shoe was on the other foot" how they would feel? I wonder if their mother's heirlooms where thoughtlessly given away, if they would just "let it go?" I am assuming not!
So much has happened. Mean, hateful things. One person pushed my mom down the stairs of my grandmothers house. This same person continued to call my mom a F****** B****. Now, my mom is not innocent in this either. She did go to my grandmothers house and take some things that were hers, but in doing so, she was pushed down stairs, called names and had the police called on her TWICE! This behavior is uncalled for. This behavior is not something I want in my life. But how about we talk about it? How about we put it behind us by being adults? At one point we loved each other, and at one point we called each other family.
One day last week, I walked into my grandmothers hospital room. Sitting in a chair is one of these family members. The air was "ICE". The room was stiff with hatred, and it was very uncomfortable. I tried talking to Nana, but when this person is around, nobody else exists. I had Colt and Kloe with me and they were even ignored. How can you ignore innocent children? What did they ever do to you? I feel so strongly that this behavior only proves one point: That they are the ones with the problem. Not me!
I think kindness is a great way to really throw these immature people for a loop. I mean, come on...I think that giving the a good smile, really shows the who is the mature one. I would love to drop a plate of cookies off to this person. I would love to leave them at her door and just walk away. What would she think when she opened the door? Would she guess they are from the person she is currently ignoring? Every single time I see these people, I am going to spread happiness because maybe someday, they will learn that it is easier to love than hate.
I think this behavior adds so much anxiety and un-needed stress. I often wonder about how much hatred is inside of these family members? How everyday they walk around with this on their shoulders. I personally, do not want to live that way. I enjoy being happy. I enjoy finding things to be happy about. I enjoy making people happy, and I enjoy a good laugh. If I had so much hatred in me, I could not do these things. I would think that letting it go, would be the way to happiness. I would think that they would want to be happy...but then again, I am not them. I can't think that way, because I have chosen not to live my life with that baggage.
For me, the "baggage" is not a person. To me the "baggage" is the ignorance spread by these people. I will continue to teach my children that this type of behavior is no way to live. I will teach them to talk about what is bothering them and teach them the importance of working your problems out. Nothing ever gets solved by acting like the person does not exist. I hope my children know this.
So, to those family members: I hope you can find happiness somewhere. I hope you don't continue to cut people out, because someday, you may need them. Misery is a lonely place to be, and I hope someday you open your heart because you will be so much better off!
Now, I think I will go bake some cookies...
Till Next Time,
Shelby
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